The Prodigals
by almostwhimsical
Summary: Set between 4.09 and 4.11. AU. Gwen's banished and Gwaine returns to his roots. Eventually the rest of Camelot shows up. I don't own Merlin, the BBC does.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This idea wouldn't leave me alone. After Arthur and Gwen, Gwaine and Gwen are my favorite duo. DCD (Decisions, Choices, and Destiny) was my first fic ever. I would never change it for that reason. But I will say that there will be some similar themes. This fic will be a bit darker. I hope you enjoy, and reviews are always appreciated.

I

Crouching low in the bushes had become a part of her new life now. She knew she had to stay to the shadows and remain as invisible as possible. It was what kept her safe. Whenever she heard voices, she hid. Life had not been easy once word of her banishment got out. People talked behind their hands and pointed. No one spoke to her, and every eye she met was filled with scorn. It was easier to avoid everyone, which was hard for her because she loved being around people.

She had hoped going to the outlying villages would be better, but news traveled fast. Once folk figured out who she was, they shunned her. She was an outcast. Now she lived on very little, only eating when she was extremely hungry. Gwen didn't have much of an appetite these days anyway as her sorrow was consuming her.

How could she?

She loved Arthur. The night he proposed was so beautiful, and now it seemed like a lifetime ago. The soft crunching of leaves beneath her feet reminded her that she needed to remain quiet. Settling herself, she hoped they wouldn't be here long as she waited for their conversation to end. It was quite easy for her to hear them.

"I do say, my lady, that bringing him back from the grave was most advantageous, indeed," the male voice said.

Her eyes widened at his words. They were still in the borders of Camelot, where the practice of sorcery was still a crime punishable by death. Frowning at this, she tried to remember where she heard his voice before. Shifting her stance as quietly as possible, she looked through an opening in the brush. The sight before her made her gasp, but she quickly shut her hand over her mouth to prevent any noise from escaping her.

If they were to find her right now, her life would be forfeit.

The woman's voice sounded as if she were only a few feet away.

"Camelot's most noble knight was quite useful, wasn't he? That and the bracelet I made especially for her worked quite well. Now my former handmaiden is banished and will never be Queen." The woman's spiteful laugh caused her stomach to churn. Looking upward as she silently twisted her body, she craned her neck to see the owner of the voice.

Why did Morgana hate her so? It was something that she would never understand.

"I have changed our destinies Agravaine." Her voice was gleeful. "When the time is right, I will take the throne. But let my insipid brother be king for a while. Besides, I hear that congratulations are in order for him."

Her brow furrowed. Congratulations for what?

"Yes, Arthur and the Princess Mithian will wed in two days," Arthur's uncle said.

Her strength left her as she heard his words. Numbly she sank to the damp ground and wrapped her arms around herself, feeling her heart tear completely apart. Was this how he felt when he saw them? Agony ripped through her as she heard his words again and again in her mind.

Arthur was getting married to another. She hadn't even been gone three months.

"Has anyone seen her?" Gwen heard Morgana ask. She shook herself briefly from her grief to hear his answer.

"No one has seen Guinevere for months now," Agravaine replied.

She watched her former mistress nod thoughtfully.

"You know what to do if you see her," Morgana said.

She watched Agravaine nod as his hand reached for the knife in his belt. He patted the handle, the action confirming what Gwen knew in her heart.

He must never, ever find her.

"I must go," Agravaine said. "No one suspects me and it must remain that way in order for us to succeed." Turning, he climbed upon his horse. Morgana did the same, saying "I will call for you when I need to see you again, Agravaine."

The two horses then left in opposite directions.

Gwen remained, her mind reeling with what she'd heard.

Lancelot was brought back from the dead? Morgana enchanted her with that bracelet?

And Arthur…he was marrying.

She felt the water from her eyes wet her cheeks. Despite the horror of Morgana's words, there was a heavy burden that had been lifted from her heart after hearing their conversation.

"I'm not an adulteress. I'm not an adulteress. I'm not an adulteress. " she whispered to herself. Hearing the words gave her the strength she needed to stand. She looked in the direction of her home. Camelot was only half a day's ride away, but Gwen was walking and she had to make sure she remained unseen. Turning, she began slowly walking back, not even knowing what she would do once she arrived.

She could only hope she made it in time.

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The knight looked at his still full mug of mead. He took a sip as he observed the scene from the back of the tavern. He saw men laughing with one another, and enjoying themselves. There was another group of men playing cards. Normally, he would have loved to join them, but tonight he didn't feel like it.

He was feeling a bit let down. His sovereign, his king, Arthur Pendragon was marrying tomorrow. While he pledged fealty to Camelot, Gwaine wasn't pleased at this outcome.

Why couldn't anyone else see it?

Arthur was making a huge mistake.

Gwen wasn't that kind of woman, he'd bet his life on it. Something had to have happened to her. Unfortunately, he couldn't prove it, and her name was forbidden to pass anyone's lips. Merlin tried time and again to make the king see reason, but the subject was closed.

She was a good friend, to him and everyone. Not for the first time, he wondered where she was now and how she was faring. Guilt rose in him for not making sure she had everything she needed before leaving. He should have done _something _for her….he just didn't know what.

Taking another sip, he set the tankard on the table and began twirling the handle with his fingers.

"Your father used to do that when something weighed heavily on his mind," a voice said. Gwaine stiffened at the use of the word father. No one ever mentioned him, and he was certain he was in a place where no one knew who his father was.

No one here knew who _he_ was.

Slowly, Gwaine turned to his right, where the voice came from. An older man pulled up a chair next to him, his keen gray eyes upon the knight. Gwaine could tell the man was quite fit, though he appeared to be in his fifties. His short black hair was streaked with gray, as well as his beard. There was something familiar about this man, Gwaine thought as the two men eyed each other. In a voice low enough for the man to hear, he said the first thought that came to mind.

"I have no father. He has been dead many years."

"We all have a father, my lord, and yours was a great man."

The use of a title caused the man to stiffen even more. No one in Camelot knew of his origins. He made sure of that.

Who was this man?

"State your business," Gwaine said, his voice flat.

"You don't remember me my lord?" The man asked.

Gwaine was silent.

"No matter, I remember you, Lord Gwaine of Dacia. We've been searching a long time for you. It's time for you to come as take your place as heir of Valcolor, your family's home."

Gwaine laughed, the noise sounding bitter to his ears. "You are surely mistaken, sir. There is no inheritance for me in Dacia."

"How can you say that when your father's seal graces your neck? You wearing it is proof you are truly the heir of Valcolor."

Gwaine's eyes narrowed at the man's words. No one knew what the two objects on his necklace meant. The flat pendant was the seal of Valcolor. It was forged in the shape of a curved upside down 'V'. The ring next to it was plain, but the inside had an engraving of his family's crest.

"I am Edwin, your father's valet. I served him until his death and then I served your brother, Gariens. Gariens had retaken the keep from your uncle Abadan, who had murdered your father and sent you all fleeing into the night so many years ago. We separated somehow, and we couldn't find you or your mother. What happened?

Unbidden memories came then, swirling in the man's eyes. Abadan killed his father Lanval, and tried to attack Helaine, his mother. They fled one night, but Abadan's men found them. They separated with plans to meet later, but it fell through. Desperate, his mother went before the king to seek help. The king, Salatre, who actually assisted Abadan in his takeover, refused to help her. Gwaine would never forget the broken look in his mother's eyes. All the hope left her that day, and she died a few years later in a small village. Gwaine a youth, then lived the life of a wanderer, never staying in one place too long, ensuring that he wouldn't be recognized. Camelot was far away from Dacia, he thought when he first settled in the foreign kingdom. Surely he wouldn't be found here.

He was wrong. Once Edwin introduced himself, he remembered this man with his father.

"How did you know who I was?"

"You are the very image of your father. Even without your seal, I would have recognized you." Again, the man turned serious eyes on the knight.

"It is time for you to return, Lord Gwaine. You are the only living heir and Valcolor will be lost if you do not claim it."

Gwaine was stunned at the news he was getting.

"Gariens left no heirs?" His brother was nearly eighteen years older and they were not close when he was a child.

Edwin shook his head, standing.

"My lord, is there somewhere we can talk privately? We have much to discuss."

Nodding, the knight stood, and the two left the tavern and stepped into the night.

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Gwen watched from the shadows as Camelot's king and queen kissed in from the castle's balcony in front of the cheering crowd. Hot, bitter tears choked her as she pulled the blue velvet cape over her face, hiding her from view.

She was too late.

She traveled as fast as she could, moving mainly at night, sleeping only a few hours in the daylight, before she set off again. Gwen had to stop and hide from slavers, bandits, and the knight's patrols. Each delay cost her precious minutes and as she watched the couple furtively from her darkened corner, it was all for nothing.

Nausea welled within her as her thoughts traveled ahead to the evening. Arthur would…unable to control the rising bile moving upwards, she emptied the meager contents of her stomach into a bucket she spied nearby. She weakly fell to her knees as a fine sheen of sweat began to cover her forehead. She was suddenly hot, and while she wanted to remove the heavy cape, she had to keep it on while she was in the citadel. Slowly standing, she leaned her forehead against the stone wall of the alley, hoping its coolness would help her somewhat.

She had been nauseous for several days now, and she thought that it was from the stress of what she was going through. Again, she watched the new royal couple, her eyes widening as she realized she'd had no monthly flow since…

_Oh no._

This couldn't be. She shook her head in denial even as the reality of the night of his proposal crashed upon her.

When he led her into her candle lit home and proposed, she flew into his arms with happy tears falling from her eyes. Their mouths met, and the restraints they were so careful to use flew from their minds. They didn't stop themselves. Arthur carried her to bed and they loved each other there.

Clutching her abdomen, Gwen stayed to the shadows and snuck out of the citadel. Once in the woods, she found a tree and leaned against it a moment, searching for the strength to carry on.

After that night, Lancelot visited the next day and gave her that bracelet. She felt unclear, as if there were mists swirling around her mind while she wore it.

Why didn't she question that?

And why didn't Arthur look deeper? She had given all of herself to him, only him. Didn't he know her well enough to know something was amiss? She had been untouched before him. It was not like her to love a man so completely and then kiss another. It was an empty comfort to know that she was innocent in all of this. Everything she loved and desired had been snatched from her fingers by the cruel actions of a woman she at one time considered a friend.

Gingerly, her fingers trailed over her abdomen as she wondered what she was going to do. With no clear decision in mind, Gwen started walking again, this time away from the only home she'd ever known.


	2. Chapter 2

II

Gwaine and Edwin were heading to Dacia.

It was a place he was certain he'd never see again. After leaving the tavern, the two headed to Gwaine's small home in the lower town. Once inside, Edwin explained everything.

His brother, Gariens, took Valcolor back from his uncle. The old king of Dacia died, and their new king was not out for selfish gain. The son of the king, Taran, who had a reputation for being just and fair, was enthusiastic to restore Dacia to its former glory. Valcolor had fallen to ruin under his uncle's lordship. Gariens worked extremely hard to set things right. He had married, but his wife died of a sickness, and his brother never remarried.

Gwaine was surprised to hear that a hunting accident killed his brother. Gariens was hiding in a bush and was mistaken for game. With no apparent heir in sight, Valcolor was up for grabs by the neighboring keeps who wished to expand their wealth. Edwin somehow was granted a brief audience with King Taran and he had pleaded with the monarch to find the second son. The king agreed and said he had one year to find Gwaine. If he was not found, Valcolor would be split between the two neighboring keeps.

There was a part of Gwaine that didn't want to return, but he thought of his father. Lanval worked to make Valcolor one of the finest keeps in Dacia. He loved his father fiercely, and the desire to please him though he was long from this world welled within the knight.

So the day after Arthur's wedding, he asked to speak with the king. It was almost comical to watch the King's large eyes bulge with shock at discovering Gwaine's true noble heritage. Dacia, like Camelot was a large kingdom well known for its prosperity. He was released honorably from service and the knight packed his few belongings and headed for home.

The ride with Edwin was quiet. Gwaine wanted to ask the man about his father, but every time he tried to speak, the words wouldn't come. His father was a great man whom he loved and greatly respected. His uncle was jealous of the life he had and wanted it for himself. It was the motivation he had for killing him.

Other questions plagued the young man's mind.

How was he going to run a keep? He knew nothing about that stuff.

What if he failed?

Gwaine was at a loss and the unseen burden of responsibility fell on him heavily. He needed help.

A bright bolt of blue on the trail pulled the knight from his thoughts. His brow raised in curiosity at the sight. As they came closer, he realized it was someone huddled against the tree. He was about to pass them when he noticed small brown curls moving around the hood of the cape from the gentle breeze in the air. Abruptly he stopped, dismounted his horse and strode over to the small figure. His hands gently pushed the hood away from the owner's face, revealing the owner. It was as he suspected.

"Gwen," he whispered.

She stirred but didn't wake. Gently he nudged her in hopes that would awaken her, but there was no response. He then examined her face, noting the hollows beneath her eyes and the slightly sharper cheekbones. She looked exhausted and hungry to his eyes, and Gwaine couldn't help the anger that welled up within him.

_He could have at least had the decency to make sure she was somewhere safe! Anything could happen to her on these roads!_

He pursed his lips, thinking of how his mother had been cast out, with no one to help her. He'd been a mere child then, and couldn't do much of anything. Looking at her, he realized that he could help.

He looked over to Edwin, who was quietly observing his actions. His eyes were quite compassionate as he looked at the woman.

"I could use your help a moment, Edwin," Gwaine said as he gently picked Gwen up in his arms. Edwin dismounted, and taking note of the small bag with the woman, he picked it up and tied it to the packhorse. He looked to Gwaine then.

"She'll be riding with me, Edwin. Hold the horse steady so I can get us on." Gwaine carrying Gwen mounted, and he carefully arranged her in front of him, allowing her head to rest on his shoulder while she slept. The two men then continued riding. After a moment of silence, the valet looked at Gwaine.

"Is she coming with us?"

"If she chooses to, she can."

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She was moving. The gentle rocking she now felt beneath her she recognized as a horse.

How in the world did she end upon one? She struggled to open her eyes and failed. It was a task that was too difficult for her to perform in her weakened state.

Gwen tried again to move, but she felt as if her limbs were lead. None of her limbs would cooperate with her mind.

"Get some rest," the low voice urged. The words were soothing and quieted her fears. Feeling her body give in to the gentle command of those whispered words, she fell asleep once more.

The next time she awoke, she was able to open her eyes this time. Her vision was blurred, and she blinked several times to focus. With clearer vision, she saw that an arm partially blocked her vision of the trees alongside the road.

Again she recognized being upon a horse. But who was she with?

It was alarming to her that she felt no fear, in spite of not knowing where she was or whose horse she was on. Slowly flexing her fingers, she felt them brush against warm skin.

"Ah, awake at last. You've been out of it for the past few days, Gwen."

The use of her name caused the young woman to jerk upright. Her head hit something quite hard.

"Ouch," she said, rubbing her head. The action caused her to sway slightly, causing the other person to stop the horse and grab her middle. Setting her upright, he removed his hands as she turned to look at who she was with. She was astonished to see him.

"Gwaine," her voice rusty from its lack of use, "What are you doing?"

"I believe we were riding until you banged your head against my chin and nearly unseated yourself from my fine steed."

The laugh that escaped her was hollow, devoid of the sweetness he was used to hearing from her. He looked down at her. She was awake, but still appeared exhausted. He couldn't imagine what she'd endured.

"I am heading to Dacia. This," He gestured with an incline of his head," is Edwin." She looked at the man with unseeing, grief-filled eyes as she nodded.

"We will be stopping for the night soon. You need to get a bit of food in you, Gwen. When did you last eat?"

Gwen shrugged. She ate a little before her failed return. Her stomach cramped, and her arms moved to cradle it protectively. Gwaine nodded to Edwin, and the two began walking their horses. She tipped her head back to meet his eyes.

"How long was I asleep?"

"Four days." Her eyes went wide at his words.

"Clearly you needed the rest. You still look tired," Gwaine said.

"It's been five days since I have eaten then," Gwen whispered, but her friend heard her.

Gwaine frowned at this, but there was nothing he could do. His arms assessed that her frame while small, was far lighter than he was used to seeing. It made the small bump of her lower abdomen that much more noticeable while she'd been asleep against him for the past few days. He suspected it, but her gentle arms protectively cradling her middle proved his speculation.

Gwen was pregnant.

Anger flashed quick and hot at Arthur. He'd taken her to his bed and still banished her? What was he thinking? His hands gripped the reins tightly as he felt himself wanting to throttle one stupid Arthur Pendragon.

Anger rose in him again, this time directed at himself.

He, like everyone else, said nothing. He didn't air his disagreement about the issue. He stood by and did nothing while she packed her belongings and left Camelot. Looking down at her, asleep again, he felt shame wash over him.

While he knew he couldn't change what happened in Camelot, he would do everything he could to make sure he did right by her. He nodded to himself. He would ensure she stayed safe in this new life of hers.

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When she awoke this time, she was lying on the ground. Slowly she rose to a sitting position, fighting against the dizziness and nausea that swirled around her. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, and opened them again. She felt a bit steadier now. Looking down, she saw a bowl of broth. Slowly she reached for it, but a hand gently held her arm, stopping her movements.

"Here, Gwen, I'll help you." Gwaine picked up the bowl and a spoon. Filling his spoon, he lifted it towards her lips.

Obediently she opened her mouth, as she inwardly sighed with relief at his help. She was hungry, but didn't know if she had the strength to feed herself just then. The warm broth filled her and caused her stomach to settle. He fed her several more spoonfuls until her eyes became heavy again. Sleepily she yawned. He dropped the spoon in the bowl and observed her. Her eyes were sad and she just looked so defeated.

"I'm tired," she said simply. She lay down and closed her eyes, falling asleep quickly.

He looked at her, glad she had finally eaten a little. He fed her because he knew she was too weak to do anything right now. She could feed herself once she had gained some strength back.

Looking at Edwin, he had been waiting for the older man to ask about her. At the fire, the valet finally asked, "Who is this woman Gwaine?" There was only curiosity in the man's voice.

"That Edwin was supposed to be the Queen of Camelot. I don't believe the things said about her, but she was banished by the king for adultery on the eve of their wedding. I did nothing to help her before she left, and I will always be sorry for that."

"My lord, you are doing a lot for her now, are you not? You are doing more that what I have seen ever done for a person that has been banished by a king. You could have left her where you saw her by that tree, you know."

"This reminds me too much of what happened with mother. I couldn't help her, but I can help Gwen."

Edwin nodded, and the two men sat quietly in front of the small fire, both wanting to give the small woman the rest she needed.

_His lips were warm and soft against her neck as her hands skimmed over his skin._

"_I love you," he whispered. Her hands moved over his chest, followed by her lips. She was amazed at his gentleness towards her. Passionately he kissed her and drew her closer to him. She sighed contentedly, her heart full of love for him._

"_I love you so," she murmured against his ear. Her lips moved up his jaw, and she placed her hands on his face to look deeply into the eyes of the man she loved. Before she could meet his eyes, everything changed and she was suddenly standing at the foot of the bed in the royal chambers and watching as Arthur began to passionately embrace the new queen Mithian. Her eyes widened with horror as she began to yell, her voice breaking as she sobbed._

"_NO! ARTHUR IT WAS MORGANA! SHE TRICKED US!"_

_The two continued as if they didn't hear her and Gwen couldn't stop weeping._

"_I love you…Arthur please…"She sobbed brokenly as she watched them move together, his face holding an expression of fulfillment she thought would only be for the two of them. Again she tried to reach him, but guards appeared and held her back. They began to drag her away as she continued to call his name, her cries unheard and unheeded. _

She awoke with a start, his name a whisper on her lips.

Again she felt her eyes well with tears. It seemed as if all she did was cry, but the sorrows of her heart were too great to hold in. Crying released some of the pain that ate within her soul. Sitting up, she rested her head against her knees. She didn't want to wake the men, so she muffled her sobs, her body shaking with the effort to remain quiet. She took several deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself. Her body quieted and she lay back down and closed her eyes.

The sharp pain in her lower abdomen caused her eyes to pop open. Her hands moved to touch her stomach.

"It's alright little one," she said softly. The pain subsided, and she sighed in relief.

Suddenly without warning, the cramps began again, one after another, the pain so intense she couldn't help but to cry out. Moaning, she clutched her middle.

Gwaine awoke at the sound of her moans. He rose and crouched next to his friend, her body curled into a ball on the hard ground, his hands gently touching her shoulders.

"What's wrong, Gwen?" he whispered.

"It hurts," she whispered. Feeling the warm sticky liquid flow down her legs, she began to weep once more.

"_No... No…no… Oh no please…please don't leave…don't leave me…I love you little one…."_ Gwaine heard her broken whispers as they graduated into heartbreaking sobs. Knowing what happened, but unsure of what to do, he held her to him, uncaring about the wetness that now covered his lap. Her small body shook violently with grief, and her anguished sobs filled the night.


	3. Chapter 3

III

Every day she awoke, she wished that the awful things that occurred were all just a bad dream- that Morgana's scheming, her banishment, Arthur's marriage, and her loss…it still hurt too much to think of it. If she were completely honest with herself, she wanted to die that night. The loss of someone she'd never met but already loved cut her deeply in ways she couldn't fully comprehend just yet.

She didn't think she'd ever really wrap her head around it.

Gwaine said they were fortunate that they were near a Druid camp that night. They'd stayed there for nearly two weeks, and the midwife said that once she gained weight and was healthy, she could have more children.

More children wouldn't replace the one she'd lost. She frowned, remembering that the midwife said that her body was too frail to hold a baby. She was malnourished, and Gwen felt as if that were her fault. She'd run back to Camelot in hopes that she'd explain before the ceremony, but it was too late.

For the first time in her life, Gwen felt alone.

It was a strange thought, that one without parents and a flighty brother wouldn't feel alone. But Gwen had devoted her life to the people around her, giving her love and kindness freely; always expectant she would receive it in return. She felt betrayed because all of the people she cared about turned their backs on her in her greatest hour of need. While she didn't expect a party before she left, she thought people would at least say or do _something_, or even just show up at her door the way Merlin did.

She looked down at her simple cloak and dress, given to her by the Druids. She could feel the horse's muscles move beneath her as she followed Gwaine, with Edwin behind her as they rode the narrow trail through the Forest of Naeir. They were now nearly to Dacia and should arrive at Valcolor within another ten days. They had been traveling a little over two months. Dacia was a kingdom on the other side of Briton, far away from Camelot. Gwen couldn't help but think that distance from a place that had nearly destroyed her spirit would definitely be good for her.

Each day, the pain would subside a little. She was by no means back to her cheerful self, and she wondered if she'd ever feel normal again, or if her girlish dreams were forever gone once the harsh realities of life came crashing down around her. Gwen was no longer plagued with thoughts of wanting to die, or weeping brokenly at night. She simply realized that there was no going back to the life she once had. She had to start over, and she figured Dacia was a good of a place as any. She needed to speak to Edwin about finding work. Surely he would have knowledge of a house that needed a servant. Slowing her horse, she allowed his mount to catch up to hers. They were off of the narrow trail, and it was easier for the two of them to ride together.

"Edwin," she said. He bowed his head respectfully towards her.

"Yes, my lady?" She shook her head and frowned.

"I'm no lady, Edwin. Please call me Gwen." Inwardly he frowned. He knew a lady when he saw one, and Gwen was definitely a lady.

"What can I do for you Lady Gwen?" She decided to ignore the noble reference. Meeting his eyes briefly, she said, "Do you know of any places where I could work? I have lots of experience in many things."

Edwin looked at her a moment before answering. Though his lord hadn't said anything, he knew that the lady before him wasn't leaving his master's sight. She certainly was not going to work in another household, the valet thought to himself. Lord Gwaine was very protective over this young lady.

"I do believe you'll be working alongside Lord Gwaine once he officially inherits Valcolor."

Her brow furrowed at this. She'd have no problem helping Gwaine, Gwen just couldn't see how she would get paid for helping a dear friend. Besides, he had done so much for her and she didn't want to be a burden to him.

Kicking her horse into a trot, she rode to catch up to her friend.

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Gwaine rode in silence, the quietness of the forest soothing to his heart.

Watching Gwen break down like that was something he never wanted to see again as long as he lived.

As she sobbed for her loss that night, Edwin had the foresight to go and seek help. He returned with a woman, a Druid. She insisted they carry her to their camp. Gwaine took her to a tent and laid her on a cot. Tensely he looked at her while the woman began to strip her clothes. Thea, the woman, then looked at him.

"You don't want to see your wife like this. Give me a bit of time to clean her up and look at her." She looked at his pants, stiff with her blood. "Go and clean yourself up. There is a stream south of our camp."

Numbly he nodded and stepped outside. His heart broke at the thought of her losses while he cleaned off in the nearby stream and changed his clothes. Quickly he headed back to the tent where she was.

In the span of a few months, she lost her home, her love, her friends, and her child. Hearing a sound, he turned to see Edwin walk towards him.

"Is she alright?"

"I don't know. The midwife is with her now." He looked at his friend who happened to be a servant. "Thanks for getting us help, Edwin. I didn't know what to do."

"She has been through much," Edwin said.

Gwaine nodded at his words.

"Perhaps you should insist she come along with us. Gwen needs a fresh start," Edwin said as he looked at the night sky.

"I had already considered that, Edwin. I don't want to force her though. Too many choices have been made for her. I want her to choose to join us for herself." Before the man could say more, Thea stepped out of the tent. She turned to face them, her eyes on Gwaine.

"Your wife will be fine," she began. Before Gwaine could correct her, Thea continued. "There are no signs of sickness and her womb will heal. She needs rest before you can travel again. "Come and see her," she said as she re -entered the dwelling. Gwaine followed.

She looked too thin and pale for his liking. Even her lively curls appeared to droop. Looking at her he wondered if-

"Once she is well, she will be able to have children."

A relieved sigh he didn't even realize he was holding passed his lips. He sank next to her, gently holding her hands in his.

"There is a bowl of broth with healing herbs when she wakes-"

"I'll make sure she eats," he assured the healer. "Thank you so much for helping her. I truly appreciate it." The woman nodded and left them alone. It was quiet and still in the now pre dawn hours until he heard her murmur, "It was Morgana…she tricked us…please…no…"

His mind worked furiously to process the soft words spoken. Gwen began to toss and turn on the cot.

"No…please no…" Her pleas became louder and Gwaine could only think of one thing to do. Picking her slight frame up, he wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear.

"It's alright Gwen. Shhh, it's alright," Feeling her relax against him, Gwaine then pondered her words, quickly realizing the answer.

Morgana had enchanted Gwen somehow. But she couldn't have done it without help. He remembered that Arthur's uncle was the one who pulled the king out of bed that night.

Agravaine was a man Gwaine didn't trust. He had his suspicions since he'd found him with Gaius in that cave.

_So they were working together_, he mused. While he was glad he was correct about his instincts concerning Gwen, he hated that he found out at such a steep price. He looked down at her, knowing that these events would change her in many ways. He hoped that somehow her gentle heart didn't become bitter and hard from these tragic events.

She stirred then, her eyes fluttering open. He mentally cringed as her eyes filled with grief. Keeping her next to him, his arms reached for the bowl Thea left.

"Drink this," he said as he held the cup to her lips. He remembered the relief he felt when she opened her mouth and drank the entire contents of the bowl. After she finished, she immediately dropped off to sleep. Gwaine looked at her in surprise.

"She will sleep for the next day. Rest will allow her body to heal." Her voice caused him to turn.

She had been watching them for a few moments and was pleased at his care for her. She had assumed at first, due to her thin size, that he had been abusive towards her. Thea realized that there was more to this story than what she saw. While she was not magical, she had flashes where she saw images clearly. She'd seen that he was not one who would harm her, but that someone else did. Another flash of the two of them came before her and a small smile graced her lips before lying on her cot across from them and finding rest.

After they had left the Druids, they traveled on. Gwen cried at night, every night for the first week. Then one morning she faced him before getting ready for travel.

"My life as I once knew it has passed, Gwaine. I need to start over, begin anew. May I travel with you and Edwin to Dacia?" Her eyes then dropped to her feet as if she were bracing herself for him to deny her.

"Gwen, we'd be honored for you to join us," he said. Hope filled her heart as her eyes met his.

"I know I've been a burden to you, slowing you down but-"

"You had been through a lot Gwen, and it was not a burden. It was the least I could do for you. You have been a wonderful friend to me," he said as he helped her onto her horse. Gwen now rode the packhorse, and everyone carried a few more of their belongings so that no horse was settled down with too much weight.

She was surprised at his next words. He still held her reins, tapping them lightly against her leg to get her attention. She looked down at him, waiting for him to speak.

"If anything, I should be apologizing to you. Gwen I knew you weren't the kind of woman who would do what you were accused of. I regret that I stood by and did nothing to help." He pursed his lips, wondering if he should tell her the rest. He decided to go ahead.

"I believed that even before you muttered in your sleep about Morgana." His eyes never left hers as the honesty shone through his hazel orbs. She realized that then he figured out the truth, but what helped start the healing process of her shattered heart was that he believed in her before knowing what had truly happened.

She opened her mouth, and then shut it. She knew Gwaine was a straightforward man who didn't lie.

"Morgana brought Lancelot back from the dead. He gave me an enchanted bracelet that awakened old feelings for him that were long dead." she stated, feeling that he deserved to hear the full truth from her. "I was hiding in the woods when I heard her and Agravaine talking about it. I came back to Camelot to explain, but I was too late…" her voice trailed off as she looked ahead into the horizon.

He looked up at her sad face, and his hand squeezed hers in a gesture of comfort. Their eyes met, and Gwen saw nothing but understanding and compassion in his hazel eyes. Gently she squeezed his hand in return. No words were needed just then. He then released her hand and turned to his horse.

"Gwaine?" He turned to her.

"Thank you…for everything."

He nodded and they set off.

Now they were ten days away, and he was more than a little nervous about what faced them there. He only hoped that he lived up to being the man his father was. The sound of hooves pulled him from his thoughts as he noticed Gwen riding alongside him. He smiled at her, glad to see that in spite of their traveling, she was close to being back to her normal size.

"May I ask you a question?"

"Ask away, Gwen."

"Do you have a job in mind for me at Valcolor? I asked Edwin about finding work and he said I'd be working alongside you." Her brow rose as she expectantly awaited his answer.

"Gwen, you know my family history now," he began.

She nodded. Gwaine shared his heritage once they agreed she was going with them. While the story of his family amazed her, she was more astounded at the fact that Gwaine didn't use his status to get what he wanted. He was always the same, and was a man who was able to find contentment with his lot in life no matter what happened to him.

"Well, er, you know how I was living before becoming a knight of Camelot. I never learned any of this lord of the keep stuff. Edwin has described Valcolor as a vast estate, with its own village that helps harvest crops for the king! Gwen I don't know how to run a keep though I can read and write and do numbers. I was hoping you could help-"

"Gwaine, of course I'll help you. I would have done that anyway. It's the least I could do. You saved my life. If you hadn't been there …I would have died that night." Her voice trailed off a moment.

"I did after all, serve in many of the king's meetings, Uther's and…"

Gwaine nodded, allowing her the courtesy of not speaking his name. She continued on saying, "I've learned and discussed much that I think should be able to help your keep."

The two then rode ahead, each wondering what the future will bring.

A/N: Thanks so much for reading! And thanks to everyone who reviews, alerts and adds this to favorites. It humbles me everytime! My goal is to update this weekly. See you later!


	4. Chapter 4

IV

They were about a half day's ride away from Dacia when Gwen heard something. She stopped her horse, concentrating, straining her ears to see if she could hear it again.

Edwin stopped next to her, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"What's wrong?"

"I thought I heard something." Edwin listened, and then said.

"I don't hear-"

"Shhh! You hear that? It sounds like a kitten or something over there." Dismounting from her horse, she began walking towards the sound in the brush.

"My lady, I don't think…" Edwin was at a loss at seeing a bit of her independence emerge again.

By this time, Gwaine realized he was traveling alone. Turning, he wondered why the two of them had stopped in front of a bush. As he dismounted, Gwen was crawling on the ground, her arms reaching for something.

"What are you doing Gwen?"

"My lord, she heard something and wanted to see what it is," Edwin said as Gwen scooted backwards on her belly, her arms full of a…baby?

Once she and the babe were out of the bush, she sat on the ground and looked at the bundle wrapped in the blanket. Gwaine sat down next to her in shock, watching as she removed the blankets to get a closer look at the child.

He looked to be a little less than a year, Gwen thought to herself. He was a beautiful child, with dark curly hair and hazel eyes. His little arms wound around her neck, seeking her comfort. Her heart melted at this. She looked at Gwaine and Edwin, vulnerability shining through her eyes.

"I can't- I "Gwaine laid a hand on her shoulder.

"I know. He comes with us," the knight said. Looking at Edwin he said, "Is there anywhere where he can be looked at? He looks alright, just a bit thin."

"The priest's home isn't far. Let's see if he can help us."

Friar Calon looked at the foursome with more than a little surprise.

It wasn't everyday that the Heir of Valcolor, a woman, a babe, and a servant graced his doors.

After looking at the child and declaring that he would be well once nourished he watched as the woman held the child to her with relief. The boy had wrapped one hand around her curls and began drifting off to sleep. Lord Gwaine watched the pair quietly, and the Friar couldn't miss the small glow of happiness in his eyes.

"The boy looks as if he could be yours," the Friar said. He hid a smirk as the trio stared at him unblinkingly. He could tell that the Heir and the lady were people with good hearts. He also had a desire to see Valcolor the way it was when Lanval and Helaine were alive. Instinct told him that they could make that happen.

With that as his motivation, he continued, saying, "An heir with a wife and child would certainly have more favor with the king than an heir alone. Appearing as a family man would assure the king that you want to see your lands succeed so that it can be passed down to your son." Turning to Edwin, he said, Could you help me? I'd like to prepare a bit for you all to eat."

Nodding, Edwin rose and followed the man. Once they were gone, the two looked at one another.

"That certainly wasn't subtle," Gwen said.

Gwaine laughed softly at her words.

"I do see his point, though," she said. "As a single man, if you die, he has to divide the land. If you have a family, your lands go to them."

To be honest, Gwaine never considered marriage a day in his life. But, he thought, as he looked at his friend, should he marry, she was the type of woman he'd consider for his wife.

However, circumstances weren't normal. She still was grieving, and he wouldn't-

"What do you think, Gwaine?"

"About what?"

"What the Friar said. Do you think it would help you?"

"I don't think it would hurt. Do you-"

"I do."

"You want to?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Why not?" she replied, shrugging her shoulders.

"I don't want to take advantage of you, Gwen."

"I know what I'm doing. I choose to do this."

For Gwen, marrying Gwaine was easy. There was no way she could see herself loving another again, so Gwaine couldn't devastate her heart the way _he_ did.

He looked at her carefully, noting the sincerity in her eyes. He was a bit awed that she was willing to do so much to help him succeed, and not for the first time, he wondered how Camelot's king could ever cast her aside.

Perhaps Arthur wasn't the man he thought he was. The Arthur he knew was a man of conviction and sense, who while a bit thick ssometimes, worked to see all angles of a situation. Maybe he didn't know him at all. He shook his head at the thought.

Focusing on the young mother and child, he said simply, "Let's do it."

He hoped he never fell in love with this woman whose heart still belonged to another.

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She was now the Lady Guinevere of Valcolor. It was a daunting task to help Gwaine run the keep. Valcolor was a huge estate. There were many families they were responsible for to ensure that their wages did not get eaten in taxes. They also had to make sure everyone was well fed and had access to the materials needed to help them stay warm in the winter. There were many who charged higher taxes in order to have more for themselves. The two of them decided that well fed, happy people would be more inclined to work with them than those that were treated badly and starved.

After the Friar wed them, they headed to meet the king the next day. Gwaine verified his claim by producing the seal which was on his neck. The king, Taran, was surprised Edwin completed his task and also pleased to see that Valcolor had an heir. He gifted them with coin and told them to come back in a few months' time to see where things with the keep stood. Gwaine left that morning to update the king.

She was also the mother to a sweet boy they decided to name Nathaniel. Finding the child did wonders for her. While she knew he wasn't a replacement for the child she lost, caring for him helped her heart to continue healing.

The very object of her thoughts woke from his nap just then.

"Mmmma, mmmma," he said as he lifted up his arms. She happily picked him up and kissed his sleep flushed cheek.

"Hello pumpkin. Did you have a good sleep?" she asked as he snuggled her shoulder. A sleepy sigh escaped him as his fingers reached for a curl that fell within his reach. His little fingers wrapped around it, and Gwen knew by his breathing he'd fallen asleep again. Leaning back in the chair, Gwen closed her eyes and enjoyed the feel of his slight weight against her. Already he'd grown so much, and she wanted to enjoy these moments while she could. She fell asleep then, her head leaning against his.

Gwaine entered the room a few moments later. He was going to tell her that his visit went well, but instead he sat in the chair across from hers, observing the two of them. They looked relaxed and content, and it did his heart good to see her back on the path to being herself again.

She'd been a wonderful resource and great help. He was a bit unsure of how to care for a baby, but he enjoyed holding and playing with little Nathaniel. His large eyes were always full of curiosity as he searched his surroundings. He was quiet when they first found him, but his outgoing personality surfaced the more he was around them. He now smiled and laughed easily, the sound never failing to warm his heart.

She stirred in the chair, and shifting, she opened her eyes. A small smile graced her lips when she saw him sitting across from her.

"How was everything?"

"It went well. I met one of our neighbors, a Matthias of Carmelide." She sat up at his words, holding the child to her so he wouldn't slip. Carmelide was one of the keeps that would have received half of Valcolor had Gwaine not returned in time.

"How was he to you?"

"He wants to come over tomorrow to discuss an agreement with us concerning the use of the stream that is near the border between our land and his. It seems as if it's been fought over for many generations. He was polite, but guarded." Gwaine explained.

Gwen was thinking. Thank goodness the major cleaning of the house and the repairs were completed. The house had been furnished, and the pieces were in good shape. The king had provided them with materials for new clothing, and the seamstress had finished Gwaine's and little Nate's clothes. Hers would actually be sent tomorrow morning.

"What time will he arrive?"

"He'll be here for lunch."

Gwen nodded to herself. She would be sure to do everything she could to show that they were a strong and generous keep. This Matthias would probably look for weaknesses he could exploit. He had, after all, lost his chances of expanding his lands upon Gwaine's return.

Matthias of Carmelide would leave knowing that there were no weaknesses here.

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The Lord Matthias of Carmelide was curious to learn more about Lord Gwaine, the mysterious heir of Valcolor. The King and his court were all surprised to learn that Lanval's second son was alive, and had a wife and small child. While Matthias couldn't deny the small twinge of disappointment of not obtaining the land, he was glad to see Valcolor occupied again. He had been friends with Lanval and was devastated when he found out about his death and the disappearance of his wife. He didn't care for Abadan, and Gariens wasn't a friendly man.

As Matthias headed to Valcolor, he took careful note of their lands. He noticed that things had improved drastically, and he was impressed to see that the main home was repaired and appeared to be in excellent condition.

_They've done much to have only been here a few months,_ he thought to himself as he dismounted. A young boy stood, hands outstretched.

"I'll take your horse to the stable, my lord," the youth said. "I'll make sure he gets water and a few oats."

The older man nodded, and handed the reins over before walking to the house.

As he climbed the steps, the door opened, and an older man greeted him.

"Good afternoon, my lord. Let me take your coat." His greatcoat was removed from him swiftly and handed to a young maid. The older man then said, "Lord Gwaine is in his study and wishes for you to join him there. Please follow me." The older man followed, impressed at all he'd see so far. The home was clean, the stone floors were swept, and all of the hangings and furniture were in great shape.

He walked into the study, taking note of the young man looking outside the window.

_That's the stance of a knight,_ he realized, the mystery of this man becoming a bit more complex.

The young man turned and said, "Thank you for coming, my lord."

"Matthias," the older man corrected.

"In that case please call me Gwaine."

"I remember your father, and you resemble him greatly." A small smile graced his lips at the older man's words.

"So I've been told. Please have a seat," the young man gestured to the chairs near the desk. Matthias took one and Gwaine took the other.

The men then looked at one another, each trying to determine what the other was about.

"So," Gwaine began, "Tell me about this stream that divides us."

"Well the houses of Carmelide and Valcolor were established around the same time. The king at the time granted our forefathers land, but the borders surrounding it were unclear.

Gwaine nodded at the man's words.

Both families considered it theirs, and small fights would break out between the houses from time to time. Before your father died, he approached me about a truce, proposing a union between our families. He was killed before it was finalized, and your uncle would not hear of it."

"What of my brother?"

"Things were in such disrepair when your brother took control that it took him years to put things right. Dacia as a whole was experiencing unrest as Taran was establishing his rule. His father Saltre was a poor ruler who made many enemies. When he died, Taran had to keep the kingdom safe and work to establish peace with the neighboring kingdoms. There was an unspoken rule between the two houses that there would be a truce as we helped the king."

"This is all very interesting to learn," Gwaine said. Before he could continue, there was a knock on the door.

"Enter," Gwaine said.

Edwin entered the room. "My lord, the Lady Guinevere sent me to inform you that lunch is ready."

Gwaine smiled at this. "Thank you Edwin. We will be right along." Turning to Matthias, he said, "Do you mind us finishing this over lunch? I know my wife will be interested in hearing about the history of the land as well."

Matthias nodded. The two stood and he followed Gwaine to the smaller dining area. The simple platter of meats, cheese, fruit, and bread looked quite appealing. He heard a soft voice which sent a shiver down his spine saying, "That will be all. Thank you."

He turned at her voice.

"This Matthias is my wife, Guinevere." Gwaine said.

_It can't be._ The older man thought as he attempted to cover his shock.


	5. Chapter 5

V

After a garbled greeting, Matthias sat down at the table with Gwaine and Guinevere. They ate, and the older man's eyes constantly slid over to her, his eyes continually absorbing her features, taking note of the dark curling hair, large brown eyes, petite frame, and the unusual honeyed shade of her skin.

She was the image of his dead wife, Sabe. Even her voice was like hers.

Gwen looked at Matthias carefully. The older man was behaving quite strangely. She looked at Gwaine, whose eyes met hers. His brow was furrowed, a sign to her that he was as puzzled as she.

"Matthias, I was hoping you could fill my wife in on the history of our lands," Gwaine said to the man who was now staring off into space.

Gwaine wondered what happened. The man seemed fine until he saw his wife, and then he paled as if he'd seen a ghost.

Matthias didn't answer.

"Matthias, is there something wrong?" Gwaine's voice was pitched a bit louder in hopes that their guest would hear him.

The older man blinked. "I'm sorry; it's just that your wife bears a striking resemblance to a woman I once knew long ago." He pinned his gaze on the young woman. "Where do you hail from, Guinevere?"

"I was born in Camelot and raised there, my lord." Her soft voice soothed his troubled heart for a brief moment before a pang of missing Sabe filled him.

"Who were your parents?"

"My father was Thomas, the town's blacksmith and my mother was Genevieve a-"

Matthias leaned forward, cutting her off. "Did you say your mother's name was _Genevieve_?" Shock filled him as he sat back in his chair and took a huge sip of water from his glass.

"Yes, that was her name…are you alright?" He nodded, his eyes meeting hers.

"You see my dear, I had a daughter named Genevieve with thick brown hair and green eyes whose skin was a shade lighter than yours," Matthias said.

Gwen gasped, and Gwaine looked from her to their guest.

"I remember…I remember my mother looking the way you described before the sickness came and took her. Genevieve was her name," Gwen said softly. Abruptly she stood and said with a shaky voice, "If you would excuse me, I need to check on Nathaniel. He'll be waking from his nap soon." She then darted from the room.

Gwaine stood, and Matthias did as well.

"I apologize for causing your wife distress," the older man said. "Please come over in a few days so we can sit down and I can explain."

Gwaine answered, "We have been through a lot and she may not be ready to see you then. May I send you a note when we are ready?"

Matthias nodded.

"And as a gesture of goodwill between us, you may use the water from the stream for your fields." Gwaine said, extending his hand. Matthias clasped it, and the two men shook hands in agreement.

Edwin then entered the room. Gwaine looked to him and said, "Can you be sure our guest Lord Matthias gets his things? Oh and make sure his horse is ready." Edwin nodded.

"Matthias, I will see you soon, I'm sorry for not walking you out myself, but I need to check on Gwen."

The man nodded. "That's fine. I'll see you soon."

Edwin escorted the man out and Gwaine turned to find her.

He found Gwen standing by the window in their bedchamber. Their suite consisted of four rooms. There was a main bedroom, and through a door, was the 'wife's' chamber, which consisted of a smaller bed and wardrobe. Gwaine slept there, while Gwen and little Nate took the main room. The other two rooms held a bath and a small nursery. He was surprised to see his little one asleep in there. Nathaniel started out in the nursery at night, but ended up in bed with Gwen by the end of it. It always made him smile inside to see the two of them resting peacefully when he woke in the early morning.

Walking over to her, he placed his hands on her shoulders.

"That wasn't easy to hear."

She appreciated that he was always honest.

"Gwaine, that man could be my grandfather. How did my mother end up in Camelot?"

A hot wave washed over her, and the tears she'd been holding back sprung free. Burying her face in her hands, she wept. Gwaine gently held her to him and rubbed his hands in circles over her back. As she quieted he spoke softly.

"He's invited us to his keep to further explain. We can go in two days, or if you'd like, we can wait longer."

He felt her shake her head against his shoulder. She looked up at him then.

"I don't want to wait. Let's go see him."

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Carmelide was a fine keep, Gwaine noticed as they rode towards the main house. He looked over at Gwen, who looked quite fine in one of her new gowns. This one was yellow with a cream bodice. She rode alone today, the pair deciding to leave Nathaniel with her maid, Lara. Her face was anxious, and Gwaine knew she would remain that way until this afternoon meeting ended.

All too soon they were at the main house. Gwaine dismounted and quickly went over to help Gwen from her horse. She held onto his arm and they walked to the door, which opened before he could knock. The two were headed to the sitting area when Gwen stopped and gasped. Turning to see what was wrong, Gwaine's eyes widened at the portrait of a woman on the wall.

"She looks _exactly_ like you, Gwen." He whispered. Numbly she nodded her eyes unable to move away from the image. It was as if she were looking in a mirror. A voice pulled her from her daze.

"I had that painting done the fifth year of our marriage. Sabe and I were married for thirty five years. She's been gone for five years now," Gwen felt her heart lurch at his sad eyes.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Gwen said gently. Matthias smiled at the young woman before looking at Gwaine. "Please come and sit," he insisted earnestly. The two followed him into the sitting room. Once seated, he asked, "Do you have any questions for me?"

Gwen shook her head. "Not right now, though I may later. I would like to hear about Genevieve, if you don't mind." The older man nodded and began to tell his tale.

"She was our first daughter, full of beauty and grace. She was charming and full of life. I could deny her nothing. Sabe would fuss that I spoiled her too much and favored her over her siblings." He paused, and Gwen found herself wanting to ask about them, but he continued.

"The king's nephew came and stayed with us one summer. He seemed so besotted over her. I thought that he would marry her. But he'd only seduced her into his bed and by the summer's end, she was with child and he was gone."

She gasped at his words, cringing inside as she briefly thought of her loss. Gwaine reached for her hand and squeezed it in support.

"We kept her here, to try and cover her shame. One night she ran away, and we never saw her again. She sent us a note months later, saying she had a new life far away and that she was sorry for shaming our name. I still have it." Picking up a yellowed piece of paper, he handed it to her.

Her fingers traced over the words, tears filling her eyes. She remembered being a small child when her mother taught her to make her letters. Her flowing script looked exactly like the letters on the page before her.

"My mother was wed to Thomas," she said slowly, realizing that the man who raised her was not her father by blood. Elyan was a foundling child. Perhaps that was why it was so easy for him to disown her. Maybe he knew they weren't siblings by blood. His actions concerning her banishment still hurt though, because Gwen loved him anyway.

"She must have wed him later. Gwen the king's uncle died in battle, and-"

"I had a father." Gwen's voice was cool. It didn't matter if they weren't related by blood. Gwen refused to see Thomas as nothing less than the father he was. Fixing her eyes on the man she now realized was her grandfather, she asked, "So do you acknowledge me, though I am a bastard daughter?"

Matthias said, "I loved my wife, and I see her and my daughter in you. I don't care about the rest. You are Guinevere Leodegrance of Carmelide, now Guinevere of Valcolor. You will inherit these lands when I die."

She blinked in surprise at his words.

"But you said Mother had siblings, and don't they stand to inherit first?"

"My son died defending the kingdom, and my daughter Janphie, your aunt is married and has a son by the name of Norison. She married Marcus of Cornwall, and his estate is far greater than this. She is well taken care of, I assure you."

She was in too much shock to say anything more. Matthias looked at her and gently grasped her other hand.

"I would like for the two of us to get to know one another. I am pleased to know I have another grandchild," he said softly. His eyes expressed his sincerity as her looked at her, happy to see Genevieve's child before him.

Her mind was swirling. All she knew was a lie. She was never meant to be…so many things. She looked to Gwaine, who had been silent throughout their meeting. Abruptly she stood, and the men stood with her.

"I would like to know more about my mother…and you," she said. "I just need a bit of time to…to..." her voice trailed off and she found she couldn't speak. Her grandfather's hand gently touched hers.

"You send word whenever you choose to visit. Or I can come to you." He squeezed her hand and stepped back. His heart was full at seeing Genevieve's daughter, but he sensed her emotions were fragile and she needed time to process everything.

Gwaine's arm went around her waist, and after nodding to Matthias, the two of them left and headed home.

Once they arrived, she leapt off her horse and sprinted into their house. Running up the stairs to the nursery, she saw Nate with her maid. The small child smiled when seeing her and held out his arms. She put a smile on her face and held him, burying her face in his neck and holding him tightly. His chubby fingers twined in her hair. Gwaine entered the room, and dismissing the maid, guided them to a bench which sat the foot of the bed.

He looked at them a moment before speaking.

"You are still Guinevere, called Gwen by her friends. You are still the daughter of Thomas, the blacksmith and Genevieve, the lady's maid to Sir Leon's mother, Audra. You still know how to sew, cook, make weapons, and repair chain mail. You are mother to our little Nathaniel and wife to the most handsome, most charming, most debonair-"he stopped when he heard her soft giggle.

"Now that's better. Think about it this way. You've gained family, something you've always wanted."

A bit taken aback by his insight, she nodded slowly. "It just seemed for a moment, that my entire life was a lie. I've grown up thinking my life was supposed to be a certain way. I was a servant, and then I thought I would be the wife of a king. That life in Camelot just seems so _unreal_, Gwaine, like it happened to someone else." Gwen sighed.

"For whatever reason, you and I went through the things we did. Perhaps it is to prepare us for what's coming next," Gwaine said.

"Those are quite wise words."

"See? Not only am I handsome, charming and debonair, but I'm wise too!"

Gwen laughed.

"Never did I think my banishment would turn out like this," she said.

The two then sat in silence, each wondering just what the future held for them.

A/N: Now you know a little more about Gwen! Thanks to Dannic38 for her shout!


	6. Chapter 6

VI

One year later

_Camelot_

She was tired of the whispers.

Mithian, Queen of Camelot was walking through the castle, when she heard them yet again.

More whispers. Her husband's name was mentioned, and as always, the whispers stopped whenever she was near.

When she had come to Camelot over a year ago to finalize the treaty between their lands, she was pleased to see that Camelot's king was quite handsome. After spending time with him, she liked that he seemed kind and courteous. She knew that an arranged marriage carried a bit of risk, and she was glad that her husband to be was a kind man. The two of them seemed to get along well, both of them enjoying much of the same things, such as riding and hunting. She was hopeful that like her parents, their arranged union would result in a loving marriage.

Their wedding was beautiful. Their wedding night was a surprise.

As a woman, and now a queen, she knew she had a responsibility to bear an heir.

After the wedding feast, she changed into a gown to meet her husband in his chambers. She was surprised to find him sitting at an open window, looking into the night. He reached for the goblet on the windowsill and took a deep drink. Setting it down, her eyes furrowed in curiosity as she watched him reach inside his vest. A small white piece of cloth appeared in his hands. She watched him open it to reveal a simple silver ring.

She must have made some sound, because Arthur turned quickly and put the bundle back into his vest pocket.

"Mithian," he said, swinging his legs from the window and shutting it firmly. He then began to walk towards her, stopping when he was only a few steps away.

"I know this is awkward, as we haven't known each other all that long-"

"But we have a duty to perform." Her husband's voice was hollow.

"Yes." She wanted to ask about the ring she saw, but she wasn't sure how to bring it up.

"I can't do this."

Mithian stared in shock at her husband's statement. Before she could say anything, Arthur pulled back the sheets. Taking his small dagger, he winced a little in discomfort as he pushed the tip into his thumb. Drops of blood stained the lower sheet.

"Are you a man who prefers other men?" The question slipped from her lips before she could stop herself.

The two stared at each other for a moment before Arthur spoke.

"I thought I could do this with you, but I cannot. Not tonight. I apologize. You may sleep here if you like and the sheets will be shown to the council in the morning as proof of our consummation."

Mithian could only nod in shock.

As time progressed, the whispers became worse. It didn't help that she was not with child.

Arthur never touched her, not in that way. He was always stiff and uncomfortable around her when they were alone. Their public persona was completely different. They appeared to be a loving couple at feasts and dinners. When the crowds were gone, they were apart. She felt alone. And the whispers only became louder.

Whispers that Guinevere was supposed to be Arthur's wife.

Whispers that Arthur hadn't been the same since she's been gone.

Whispers that Guinevere betrayed Arthur the eve of their wedding with one of his greatest knights.

Whispers that Arthur married her to save his pride.

Whispers that her husband was a complete puppet; first by his father and now by his uncle.

Mithian hated the whispers.

She threw herself into being Queen. She worked to see the citizens of Camelot had what they needed. It was the only thing now that she and her husband shared a common ground upon.

She wished…she shouldn't carry such thoughts around. Moping never did her any good. She couldn't change the past any more than she could turn her hair from brown to gray.

"Mithian." The deep voice of her husband behind her roused her from her thoughts. Putting a smile on her face, she turned.

"Hello Arthur." Leaning forward, she kissed his cheek. While he didn't pull away, he wasn't responsive either. Her brow furrowed.

Arthur saw her small frown at his lack of response. He liked Mithian. She just wasn't… _her_.

The hurt, anger, and denial continually churned within him, causing a viscous cycle he couldn't escape.

He often thought to himself that if he hadn't met Guinevere, he would have gotten on quite well with Mithian.

She just wasn't _her_.

He felt as if he'd been going through the motions since _she_ left, banished by his order.

He still couldn't speak of think her name without the bitter taste of betrayal filling his heart.

In those moments, he was certain he hated her.

Actually, he hated the weakness he felt. He was king, born to rule, and he was…he refused to call himself defeated by a woman. Her betrayal was a glaring reminder of all of the inadequacies he'd tried to hide.

He still felt like that spoiled, selfish prat his servant called him many years ago. Looking down into the face of his beautiful wife, he felt guilty of his treatment of her.

Taking her hands in his, Arthur decided to try again.

Leaning forward, he kissed her cheek, ignoring her faint gasp of surprise. Covering her hand with his own, he said, "Let's take a walk."

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_Valcolor_

Gwaine hated riding in the rain. He was cast from his home in the rain. When his mother died, it was raining. To him, rain never brought him anything good. He shivered, regretting leaving his heavier cloak at home. When he left to meet with Matthias that morning, it was sunny and warm. He'd forgotten how quickly the weather in their region could change when the seasons were on the brink of turning. Summer was changing to fall, and if the wind were any indication, fall was coming early.

The good thing was that he was close to going home. He knew that Gwen would have food and a hot bath waiting for him. She always made sure he had what he needed when he was taking a trip. Gwen had actually told him to take the heavier cloak, but he laughed and said that he would be fine.

As always, he should have listened to her.

It did him good to see Gwen settle into her new role. After finding out Matthias was her grandfather, the two began to form a relationship. He knew that Matthias told her more about her mother and grandmother, and Gwen, hungry for solid familial relationships, enjoyed hearing about them.

She'd never admit it out loud, but Gwen wanted a family. Her parents were dead, and she and her brother were not that close, even after he became a knight. Gwaine always wondered if Elyan only appreciated the benefits of his sister being courted by the future king, and if his anger at her stemmed from the possibility of him losing his newfound status due to the situation with Lancelot. Gwaine also wondered if Elyan knew that he and Gwen weren't blood related, and if that was another catalyst for his distance.

Looking up, he realized he was home. After putting his horse away, Gwaine trudged into the house, hoping that he would feel warmer soon. The cold, wet rain had seeped into his very bones. Edwin helped him change into dry clothes after his bath and he ate the hot soup Gwen prepared for him. Soon after, he collapsed into bed, his body exhausted.

Gwen looked at her sleeping friend with concern the following morning. It wasn't like Gwaine to sleep this late. Tentatively, she touched the back of her hand to his forehead.

The heat pouring from him caused her to draw her hand back in alarm.

Gwaine was ill.

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_Camelot_

Mithian reverted to actions she used to take as a child-dress as a boy and sneak out for a ride.

Tegas was her mount, a gift from her father on her eighteenth birthday. She loved riding her, and she trained her to be completely silent when needed.

Never had she thought she'd use that training outside of hunting until today.

She rode to take a break from the confusing feelings that were within her. Arthur was now more affectionate and friendly. She felt as if it came from nowhere. She liked his attention, but it was such a shift from the distance he'd been keeping from her only a few weeks before.

When he suggested that she wear purple, she was a bit taken aback. He explained, with a slight flush in his cheeks, that he thought the color would flatter her. Wanting to please him, she had done so.

Purple had pleased him greatly. The picture of the affectionate couple they portrayed to the outside world was slowly becoming a reality in their private lives. She'd hoped the whispers would subside once people saw their union growing in strength, but they still remained. Talk of the lack of an heir was all she heard. A sound pulled her from her thoughts, and she then realized that she had never been in this part of the woods before. Taking her time to observe her surroundings, she was back in a familiar place within minutes. Mithian rode, enjoying the quiet serenity.

Deep in the woods, the queen was surprised to find an old cottage. She was even more surprised to see Arthur's uncle step out of it, with a beautiful young woman following him. Mithian was certain she'd be more striking if she wasn't wearing so much black. Black hair, black dress, black shoes. It was as if she was trying to dispel her angelic features with such dismal clothing. Curious, MIthian dismounted and snuck closer. She had the advantage of being on a hill, behind a log. Their voices carried upwind, and MIthian was able to hear every word spoken between the two.

"It took you long enough Agravaine. I tire of always having to wait for you to come through for me," her voice held such anger, Mithian thought to herself.

"Morgana," Agravaine began, his tone quite similar to the one he used with her husband when he wanted something, "It isn't easy to get this kind of information. Arthur isn't the most reticent man, you know."

"You have bragged about having his ear," Morgana said as her eyes narrowed.

"And I do, my lady, I do."

"Then use it for my cause!" Morgana spat. "I am to be Camelot's Queen, and nothing will stop me!"

Mithian shivered at the woman's hostile voice. Her eyes widened as the woman produced a small vial in her hand by merely flashing her eyes.

"Plant this in Gaius' drink. I'm sure he can lead you to the location of the crystal."

What crystal?

Mithian remembered the whispers of the witch living hidden in the forest. She was certain she was looking at her.

I have to warn Arthur, she thought as she watched his traitorous uncle climb his horse and ride away. Morgana returned inside her small home, and Camelot's Queen sat, waiting for the right opportunity to sneak away. Finding it, she hurried to her horse and stealthily picked her way through the woods, taking care to remain silent.

As she rode home, she realized the likelihood of her husband believing her were slim. He had such faith in his uncle. She needed to find proof that was irrefutable. She needed help.

But who would help her?

0000000000000000

_Valcolor_

He felt her mop his brow, hold his hand, and whisper words of encouragement. He was just so weak that he couldn't open his eyes to let her know that he heard her. He hated feeling this way. He'd never been sick like this before. His body would feel hot, then cold. He would sweat then shiver. Sleep was his only relief.

He dreamt of her. He saw her smile, her laugh, and her eyes sparkling with affection for him while he slept. He always felt her presence. She never left his side.

When his fever broke and he awoke one morning, he slowly looked over at her curled into his side, asleep. Briefly he wished…it didn't matter.

He was certain her heart still lay elsewhere.

She had to take care of him. Not out of some sense of misplaced gratitude, but she had to be sure that he was well. He saved her life. She would do no less for him.

Matthias was a wonderful help. He helped her make some decisions about the land and village she was certain Gwaine would have approved of.

There was one night were he shivered so that she was worried he would be gone before the next morning. Gwen did all she knew to do to bring the fever down, and when she felt his fever break, she sank down next to him in relief. Being awake for several days straight, her eyes shut and she instantly fell asleep next to him.

_Their mouths met in a heated kiss. She felt her head drop back as he began to place slow, nibbling kisses along her neck, shivering a little each time his teeth grazed her skin. She pulled him closer to her, dragging his mouth back to hers. She looked at him, wondering why she couldn't see his face when he raised it over hers. The only thing she could make out were the golden glints in his hazel eyes. He leaned down…_

Gwen shot up in the bed with a gasp. She looked over at Gwaine sleeping peacefully and she was relieved to see that it was a healing sleep, the fever flushed skin now gone. She then blinked several times, trying to dispel the images that she just saw behind her lids.

What was _that_?

Did she just…? Quickly she shook her head.

She couldn't have. She still loved _him_.

Didn't she?

Gwen lay back down, her eyes wide open as she searched for an answer to a question she was certain would always be yes.

A/N: I hope you all liked this chapter…I've decided to change one little thing, which of course, led to extra chapters! Thanks for the reviews, alerts and adds. I hope everyone has a good week.


	7. Chapter 7

VII

Eighteen Months Later

_Valcolor_

_Friendship shouldn't be this hard,_ Gwen thought to herself as she dabbed the side of her apron across her face.

It was hot. Summer had come early to Dacia. Gwen continued sewing for the village children. A sharp poke pinched her finger, and the lady looked at her hand in frustration.

Honestly, she hadn't stabbed herself this much with a needle since she was a small child just learning to stitch. Annoyed with herself, she set her work down and stood abruptly, causing some of the women of the village working with her to glance up in surprise.

"I'm fine. I'm going to take a walk. I won't be but a moment," Gwen said as she set off, knowing inwardly that the women must have thought she'd taken leave of her senses. Who'd give up shade on a hot day like this one?

_Unexpected is good. It always shakes things up._ Gwaine's voice floated in her mind, so clear that she'd nearly turned around to see if he was standing there.

What was _wrong_ with her?

His smile had easily become one of her favorite things to witness. It made his entire face open up and his eyes sparkle, causing the gold glints in his hazel eyes to shimmer. Fortunately for her, he smiled daily. He also laughed easily, and Gwen found herself saying the most outrageous things to see him laugh as much as she could.

She liked saying such things around him, more than she cared to admit. Lost in her thoughts, she startled when a beam landed nearly at her feet. Quickly she jumped back, only to lose her footing and land on her backside in the dirt. Before she could stand, she was surrounded by several men.

"You alright milady?"

"That was quite a tumble you took!"

"Hush Tolen! Can't you see she's on her bum in the dirt?"

"Gwen are you alright?"

Gwen looked up and met his concerned gaze and nodded. Gwaine stood before her with his hand extended. She grasped it and he pulled her gently to her feet.

"Thanks," Gwen's voice was soft as she looked up into Gwaine's face. The other men headed back to work, leaving the two of them alone for a moment.

Silence was between the couple for a moment before Gwaine spoke.

"We've nearly finished all of the repairs in the village," Gwaine said. Pulling at the hand he still held he said, "Come and see what we've done." She let him pull her throughout the village, stopping at certain homes to point out what had been worked on today. Gwen couldn't help but smile at the pride in his voice. Gwaine was coming into his own. Once they stopped a moment, she touched his arm.

"You've done a wonderful job, Gwaine."

His smile at her genuine words was the most beautiful one she'd ever seen. It nearly stretched off his face as his eyes warmly regarded her.

The lady felt something inside her shift as she wondered again why being friends with her husband had become so difficult.

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_Camelot_

"What did you find out?" His voice was a hushed whisper. They were hidden in an unused portion of the castle.

"They want to take this crystal and use it to help her claim the throne." Her low tone matched his.

"We can't allow that to happen. Do they have any idea of its whereabouts?" She shook her head firmly.

"No but it's in Camelot's vault. And you know Agravaine stole the maps to the underground tunnels a few months ago."

"I tried to tell him, but he wouldn't believe me."

"He won't believe his uncle's a traitorous pig without proof. You _know_ this Merlin."

A wry smile twisted his lips at his majesty's description of Agravaine.

"He will be heading out soon. Perhaps I can find out more."

"It's too much of a risk, Mithian!" Merlin whispered furiously.

"It's worth taking if we can foil their plans before it's too late!" Camelot's queen fired back.

Merlin nodded.

Mithian walked away.

He spoke a few words to keep her safe.

He still couldn't believe that she was so willing to help a kingdom she'd only recently become a part of.

Merlin remembered how she came to him six months ago.

She found him cleaning their room when she came in, still dressed as a boy from her ride. He looked up at her in shock, his mouth agape.

"Your Majesty?"

"Hello Merlin."

"Why are you…"

"Dressed as a boy? I needed to get out for awhile and wear something besides those purple gowns Arthur had made for me."

Merlin merely raised a brow at her words, but said nothing as the queen plopped herself in a chair and pulled off her boots, her face appearing as if she were deep in thought. Suddenly her eyes widened as she looked at Arthur's servant.

"Merlin, tell Gaius not to drink anything offered to him by Agravaine. Better yet, tell him to avoid drinking at dinners and feasts."

"Whatever for?" Merlin asked. He knew Agravaine was a traitor, as did Gaius, but what exactly did she know?

"Arthur's uncle is not to be trusted."

Ah.

"If only I could get Arthur to see that. I need proof that he can't refute," Mithian said, pacing their chambers barefoot, still clad in the shirt and trousers from earlier. It was as if she'd forgotten he was there. Merlin decided then to take a risk.

"Your Majesty?"

"Oh yes, Merlin I'd forgotten you were still in here. What is it?"

"I have a suggestion. Why don't you change clothes and meet with Gaius and I in an hour? It appears we need to chat."

Mithian came down, and the three formed an alliance to thwart the threat from Morgana and Agravaine. In Merlin's mind, Mithian had the harder job. She worked to gain the trust of Arthur's uncle. She'd also follow him from time to time. They'd found out that Morgana gained an ally in a warlord named Helios. They were searching for a crystal, and Arthur's time as king was running out.

Mithian watched and listened as Helios, Agravaine, and Morgana continue to plan. They only had about six months until everything was in place. Mithian listened carefully, hoping for something she could take to her husband to make him listen. She had to give Agravaine credit. He was a slick devil. His duplicity was near impossible to prove.

She could only hope Arthur would see reason. They had become friends, but the final step in their marriage bed had not been taken. Something was holding him back.

Guinevere.

She heard him mutter her name in his sleep one morning when she tried to wake him.

That's when Mithian realized some of the whispers were true.

Still, she was his wife, and Queen, and her duty now was to help her king defeat those who threatened Camelot.

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_Valcolor_

"Gwen!" She heard her husband's voice float to their suite.

"I'm upstairs!" she called back.

It was so good to see that Gwaine was back to his normal self. It had taken him awhile to heal from being sick last fall.

"Papa?" she heard her son's little voice ask.

"Yes love, Papa's coming upstairs." The boy smiled and continued playing with his toys. Nate was now two, and he was beginning to put words together. His large hazel eyes loved to look for adventure. He was now walking and running and so much fun to have around. She couldn't have loved him more if she had birthed him herself. Nathaniel was truly the child of her heart.

Gwaine entered the room a few moments later. He still kept his hair slightly long, and rushing into the room gave it a windblown look, the result making him even more handsome, if that were possible.

Gwen frowned inwardly at her train of thought. It seemed as if she'd been having quite a few errant thoughts about her husband lately.

"What's with the look?"

And that was another thing. Gwaine was entirely too perspective for his own good. He had a way of _seeing _her that made Gwen feel vulnerable at times. Beneath the seemingly careless exterior was a shrewd mind. He missed nothing.

Gwen was used to people seeing what they wanted to see with her. As a servant, no one paid her any attention, and she was trained to always have a neutral expression which hid her feelings.

With Gwaine, she found that her neutral expression didn't work. It forced her to open up and share her feelings-something that she was only just now getting used to doing with him.

Sharing her thoughts with Gwaine was quite a novelty to her. Her thoughts were things she was used to keeping to herself. Even with Arthur she kept her many of her thoughts to herself. The surprise was that he shared his thoughts with her as well.

Looking up at Gwaine, she said, "I was thinking."

"About what?"

_Figures he wouldn't let this go_. "That you look especially handsome today. I'm sure you set many hearts to fluttering when you passed by."

He laughed, causing Nate to look up and laugh also.

"Papa's silly," he said before returning to his toys.

His eyes met hers.

"You think I'm handsome?" He grinned and stuck out his chest. She laughed and stood, ignoring the way his laugh made her heart glow.

"Who doesn't think that? Even old Helen squints her eyes when you pass by to get a better look," she replied with a smile that matched his.

Helen was an old widow in the village who needed a new roof when they first came to Dacia. Gwaine helped and she'd bake him cookies now whenever he checked on their part of the lands.

He smiled down at her. Gwen had a bit of a mischievous streak in her, something he'd never seen in Camelot. He'd never know what she'd say at times. It pleased him to see her smile freely. Her smile lit up her face and made her breathtaking.

He quickly changed his train of thought. Reflection on her beauty would do him absolutely no good.

"Now what's with your look?"

It was quite impossible to hide anything from her. Gwen was quite perspective and easily saw beneath his nonchalant manner.

"I was thinking that your smile lights up any room," He then bowed before her with a flourish.

She and their son laughed, causing him to join in.

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The king of Camelot walked to his room. Entering it, he was pleased to see no one in there.

He just needed a moment alone. As king, moments alone were rare and appreciated. He sat at the table and his thoughts drifted to her while he fingered the worn white token she'd given him so long ago.

He didn't try to fight it anymore.

She consumed his dreams and thoughts. He'd dream of her as his Queen most nights and wake in the morning to the reality that she was gone. He ached for her, his body literally yearning for her touch.

He'd tasted her sweetness and craved it. He felt his desire for her increase but before he could find relief, his wife entered. He shoved the piece of cloth back in his pocket.

"Arthur, what are you doing sitting here in the dark?"

As he looked at her, he realized that the setting sunlight reflected in her eyes, causing them to look like hers. The purple gown shone despite the dimming of the room. Arthur stood and crossed to her in a few long strides. He pulled her to him, sighing at the scent of lavender he asked her to put in her hair.

"Arthur-"

He kissed her then and pulled her closer.

He would pretend this night that he had her again.

She was drowning in her husband's touch, something she'd wanted for so long. Mithian would never admit it aloud, but she was in love with Arthur. So when he carried her to the bed, she yielded. When he removed her clothing, she shivered. When he brought her to completion, she cried.

When he reached for her again in the night, he murmured the name all whispered about.

Guinevere.

Tears then streaked her face again, this time in sadness as her heart broke.

A/N: I'm sorry it took so long to update…I got stuck and my muse left me. Thanks for reading, alerting and the adds and reviews. And thanks Dannic38 for your input! It was a huge help.


	8. Chapter 8

VIII

_Two months later_

She never thought that this would happen.

She was certain that Gwaine would only be her friend. Now he had become so much more.

She was in love with her husband. Gwen remembered how she'd thought she'd never love again after Arthur casting her aside.

When she left Camelot, her heart was torn to shreds. Everything just looked so dark then, and then with the loss of her baby, she wasn't even sure if she'd be able to go on. So many of those first days of her traveling to Dacia were just a blur because she was so immersed in grief.

Gwaine was certainly a wonderful friend. He saved her life that night.

She knew that the love she had for him built slowly. Once she realized in her heart that what she had with Arthur was gone, she reconciled herself to a marriage based in friendship. She felt fortunate about that. As a maid in the old castle, she observed many a pairing for status and coin. There usually was no true relationship between many of the noble families in Camelot.

It started with his eyes. They were always just so warm when they met hers, but it was the intensity with which she caught him studying her one day that gave her pause. When her eyes met his, the tiniest of smiles graced his mouth, and Gwen remembered thinking to herself that it seemed as if Gwaine wanted her to catch him looking at her. When her eyes met his, she felt so bare beneath his penetrating gaze. She felt as if he saw something in her she didn't quite understand herself.

Merlin was her first crush. Lancelot was the first man she met that she acknowledged she could have loved, if things were different. Arthur was the first man she loved with all she had. She was devastated after her banishment. To watch him wed another so quickly caused her to question if he truly loved her at all. It had taken her over a year to move on. When she saw that she could remember Arthur without pain, she knew her heart had healed.

She didn't see this coming. Gwaine was the man she'd dreamed of as a young girl. He'd seen her at her worst, supported her and loved Nathaniel the way she did. He was kind and generous; he thought things through and was smart. There was a well working brain beneath that gorgeous head of hair he had. He was always considerate of her needs and made her laugh. She thought Arthur was _that_ man, but his hotheaded rash actions towards her were a symptom of a bigger problem.

When she thought about it, she realized that Arthur made rash decisions and snap judgments all the time. He did many things by impulse alone. She should have known that one day she would be the recipient of this from him.

Her biggest regret was that she'd given herself to him, so certain they would be wed in a few days.

"Mama! Mama! Worm!" She looked over at her son, who was cheerfully playing in the dirt. He dangled his prize proudly, drawing a smile from her. Nathaniel was nearly three now, and he looked like he actually could be a child between her and Gwaine, with his olive skin, dark curls and hazel eyes. He was a bright spot in their house, and the apple of her grandfather's eye.

"Put him back, darling so he can get food," Gwen said as she looked over him. He was covered in dirt, but Gwen didn't mind. Dirt could be cleaned. Her boy nodded and continued playing.

"What's this?" She smiled at his voice.

"Papa!" Nate jumped into Gwaine's arms. He laughed and threw him into the air. Nate giggled and squealed.

"More!" he yelled. Gwaine tossed him a few times and set him down. Nate sat on his foot and wrapped his small arms and legs around his larger one. Grinning, Gwaine walked closer to her, his son giggling with glee because he was hanging on to his papa's leg. Leaning down, he kissed her forehead before sitting next to her. Nathaniel hopped up and resumed playing in the dirt. Together they sat, enjoying the warm afternoon, the quiet air between them quite comfortable.

"Do you ever think about it?" he asked suddenly. His eyes met hers as she wondered what he was asking.

"Think about what?" she answered his question with one of her own.

"Camelot." Her brows rose at this, and she thought carefully before answering.

"Not in a very long time. There are times when I wonder how Merlin and others are faring, but I feel at home here in a way that I never felt there." This was true. She loved her life in Dacia now.

"Do you think about what might have been with Arthur?"

_Where is he going with this?_ She wondered.

"You saw what I went through Gwaine. Arthur didn't have faith in me when it was most important for him to. I've wondered if I would have truly been happy there as Queen of Camelot. I didn't see it then, but being forced to leave I think was for the best. I see that I am my own person now. The losses hurt, and hurt badly, but I've made peace with that time of my life. Honestly Gwaine, while I will always hope that things are well with him, what I felt for Arthur is no more." Leveling her eyes with his, she asked, "Do you miss Camelot?"

"Like you, I think about Merlin. He was the first true friend I ever had. I also wonder how the knights are doing. But now that I'm home again, I don't miss Camelot. I do miss a good old fashioned brawl at the tavern, though." He grinned, and she chuckled at his words. Their eyes met and held for a moment. His hand reached forward and brushed a stray curl from her eyes, tucking it gently behind her ear.

She felt her skin heat beneath his gaze and his hands. Unconsciously she leaned forward, moving closer to him, her eyes still locked with his.

"Gwen I-"

"Bug! Bug!"

Her son's cry snapped her from her haze. Quickly standing and dusting herself off in an attempt to cover just how flustered she was feeling, she walked over to him and said, "Let's go, little love, it's time to get ready for supper."

She reached out her hand, and he put his small hand in hers.

"Yes, let's get ready for supper." Gwaine took his other hand, and the three headed for the house.

Gwaine looked at her as they ate.

He'd asked her about Camelot because he wanted to be sure she was over Arthur. He loved her, and he didn't want the past to interfere with the future in anyway.

He had the tiniest crush on her for ages. One day he looked at her and realized she was the only woman he wanted to be with for as long as he lived. His heart fell a bit at this realization, mainly because he was so sure that Arthur owned her heart. He'd seen them together. They were happy before everything fell apart. The banishment and loss of her child broke her heart. When they first came to Dacia, she still grieved her losses. He believed Nate was a gift from Heaven. Caring for the small child kept her from drowning in her sorrow.

He watched her struggle to put her life together again, to trust her judgment again, to believe that she had a place of her own, to laugh again with the sweetness that she had before. It was awhile before her nightmares ended and she slept peacefully through the night. When she was able to talk about past times in Camelot without sadness in her eyes, he knew she turned a major corner. Gwen was already a strong person, but there was a bit of steel in her spine and a wisdom in her eyes that was the result of what she'd been through.

She laughed at his bad jokes, was a sounding board for his ideas and decisions, and she cared about Valcolor as much as he did. She loved and forgave and her heart was still so big. Loving her was so easy, but he wondered if she could ever fully return his love. He didn't want to be a replacement for loving Arthur.

Gwaine wanted her heart to be his, the way his already belonged to her.

Matthias noticed he loved her and asked him about it. They were in his study, going over plans to improve their wheat crops when the older man asked, "When are you and Gwen going to give me more grandchildren?"

"Huh?" He wasn't expecting that.

"Nathaniel needs a brother or sister, several of them. What are you waiting for? I know you love Gwen."

Gwaine nodded, he couldn't deny it.

"Gwaine, Gwen told me about Camelot," he began. "I don't have any respect for that Pendragon lad. What happened to her reminds me too much of what happened to Guinevere's own mother. I am glad you were there for her. She's put that behind her. Gwen loves you."

"You think she loves me?" The very thought of her love caused his heart to leap.

"Son, I know she does."

Gwaine now heard his words as he readied for bed. She was on the other side of the door. Her words about Arthur surprised him. For months now, he had felt something shift between them. They always ended up near one another. He would reach for her hand, or kiss her forehead. She would push his hair from his eyes. There were many moments when he thought he'd kiss her, but something interrupted them. He looked down at his attire. Taking off his shirt, he pulled at the seams. He grinned when he saw them rip. Throwing the ripped shirt over his shoulder, he stepped into the main room.

Gwen was brushing her hair. She looked up when he came in. He held up his shirt.

"I ripped this somehow," he said. "Do you think you can fix it for me?"

"Sure, just leave it in the chair and I'll take care of it tomorrow," she said, hoping her voice sounded normal. Her husband was without his shirt and the sight caused her stomach to flutter while her fingers itched to dance over his skin.

He did that and then sat next to her on the bed. He leaned back against the headboard and said, "I've always wanted to know how this mattress felt. It's quite cozy."

She raised an eyebrow at him. He was nervous about something, she thought. He only started talking about random things with her when he had something on his mind and he was unsure about how to begin expressing his thoughts.

"I asked about Camelot today for a reason, Gwen." She set her brush down and leaned back against the headboard, turning her face towards his.

"What was it?"

"I was curious to know if Arthur held any place in your affections. I was surprised when you said he didn't anymore."

"He has not for a long time now," He moved closer to her. Her pulse sped up at his nearness.

"Good."

"Why is that good?" He took a breath and confessed what was in his heart.

"I love you Gwen." Her eyes widened at his words. Her eyes dropped from his a moment as joy entered her heart. Raising her gaze to him her lips turned upward as she looked at him, his eyes blazing with the love he had professed.

"Gwaine I love you too. I never thought I'd love again, as my heart was buried in ashes." Her fingertips lightly stroked his jaw as she spoke, the words rooting themselves in his soul. "I know I can trust you with me, Gwaine. I've loved you awhile; I just didn't know how to say it." He saw it then, the love for him in her eyes. Gently he grasped her wrist and puller her towards him, his other hand cradling her jaw and pulling her face towards his. Their mouths met softly, sealing the words spoken between them. His forehead then touched hers as his fingers traced over her lips.

"I've wanted to kiss you for a long time now, but I didn't want the past to come between us." She moved closer to him, and his hand cradled her face and pulled it closer to his."I've wanted your kiss for awhile now," she replied softly.

His lips met hers again. She sighed and they both moved closer to each other. His mouth opened wider and his tongue ran over her lips, seeking entry. She opened her mouth, and the kiss deepened, grew stronger. Needing her closer, he pulled her atop him, her thighs falling alongside his as his fingers removed her robe and tossed it away. He ran his hands softly over her neck, his fingertips slowly making circles up her arms, to her shoulders, to her collarbone, where his hands slowly reached around and began massaging her shoulders. He began raining kisses down her throat as he murmured, "I love you Gwen. I love you." His lips found a sensitive spot where her neck and shoulder met. He nipped her gently there after feeling her shudder.

Her lips found his ear.

"I love you too Gwaine." He paused at her words. Tipping his head back, he sat up and looked up at her. He still couldn't believe it, that he had her love. He felt as if his heart would explode with every declaration of love she professed. Looking into her eyes, he vowed to never take her for granted.

"Truly?" She nodded.

"Truly." Leaning down, she kissed him hungrily. He returned her kiss fiercely as his hands now moved to the front of her gown. His fingers shook as he tried to untie it. Breaking their kiss, she looked at him and covered her hands over his. She held his smoldering gaze as she slowly untied the laces of her gown, shoving it off her shoulders so that it fell to her waist. His eyes burned her skin as they perused over curves he'd never seen before. His eyes met hers as a smirk graced his lips.

"You know Gwen; my plan was to woo you into my bed slowly."

She laughed at this as she reached forward and moved a lock of hair from his eyes. Leaning forward, she kissed his nose.

"I've always wanted to do that," she said.

"My body is yours to do with as you please," he quipped. She laughed again as he pulled her closer to him. Her arms wound around his neck as her eyes met his.

"So you're willing to be my love slave?" she asked, as an impish grin covered her face while she cocked her head to one side.

"I honestly can't think of a job I'd enjoy more," he said with a grin. He looked into her eyes, searching for any uncertainty. Finding none, he leaned forward and fused his mouth with hers as he pulled her beneath him.

A/N: Thanks for reading! I appreciate every review, alert, and add.


	9. Chapter 9

IX

Six Months Later

_Camelot_

His castle was on fire.

Arthur awoke to burning and chaos.

He was asleep when a loud banging on his door woke him.

"Sire!" he easily recognized the voice of Sir Leon, despite his still sleepy state. Jerkily arising from bed, Arthur strode to the door. Yanking it open, he faced the knight, observing his astonished eyes.

"What is it?"

"We're under attack! Morgana has an army and is attacking the castle!"

Leon's words spurred the young king into action. Waving the older knight in, Arthur hurriedly began to dress.

"Where's Merlin?" he muttured to himself.

As if on cue, his manservant burst into the room. "Arthur!" He yelled. The king's eyes narrowed; the last thing he needed was Morgana knowing his location right now.

"Be quiet you idiot!" Arthur's voice was an angry whisper.

Merlin leaned against a wall for a moment, clearly out of breath. Ignoring him, Arthur turned his attention back to Leon.

"What's going on?"

"The lower town is set ablaze, Sire, and the people there have taken to the woods to hide. Morgana has aligned herself with Helios, the warlord of the South." Arthur frowned at this. Helios had a reputation as a fierce warrior who often aligned himself with kingdoms to fight for hire.

"There is one more thing you should know," Leon began, his face anguished.

"What?" the king replied.

"Your uncle Agravaine is among their number."

The young king shook his head in denial, even though he knew the words spoken were true.

_Valcolor_

The sun's rays shining through the window warmed her skin, causing her to stir, shifting her face away from the bright light and instead turning in the opposite direction, her progress halted by the wall of warm flesh she landed against. A strong arm wound around her pulling her close, and Gwen's eyes flew open as she felt his teeth gently nip her ear, then flutter shut again as he began nuzzling her neck.

"Gwaine," she sighed as she pulled his face to hers, joining her mouth with his. She'd meant it to be quick, but it appeared her husband had other ideas. The kiss deepened as the two moved themselves closer to one another, their limbs entangling as their mouths continued to move against one another's.

He lifted his head, breaking their kiss to look at her. Her skin was slightly flushed and her eyes seemed to glow as she looked at him. He pushed back a curl from her temple behind her ear, his fingers reveling in her soft skin. She shivered a little at his touch even as her fingers reached to gently trace over his lips. He kissed those fingers before turning his attention back to her.

His wife.

How he loved her.

He never thought his life could be this wonderful. Not since the death of his parents. Being here with her gave him hope again. While Camelot was a place that he was glad to be in for a time, Valcolor was his true home. It was hard to believe they had already been there for a little over two years.

"Share your thoughts?" A kiss on the jaw followed her gentle query.

She looked into his warm hazel eyes and marveled that she could be this happy. One hand reached up and began playing with the hair that fell on his neck. Turning his face into her arm, he kissed it before looking back at her.

"I was thinking about how happy I am here with you." His fingers began tracing her skin.

This was a blessing she'd never take for granted. Leaning upwards, she clasped his hand. Kissing the palm, their eyes met, and she felt her heart expand with love yet again.

She opened her mouth to try and speak, but the words wouldn't come.

_This love we share is so beautiful_, _and yet that very word just seems so… inadequate_, she thought to herself, her eyes still locked on his, knowing that the love she saw in his eyes was reflected in hers. She moved closer, rubbing her nose against his as her lips caressed his face in gentle kisses.

When he leaned down to mate his mouth with hers, she knew he felt the same.

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Matthias looked at them, grinning unashamedly as he watched Gwaine kiss his granddaughter's hand over lunch and pin her with an intense gaze as their eyes met. He headed home after wards, his mind full of thoughts.

Nathaniel would have a sibling soon. Of that he had no doubt. Watching the two of them caused his thoughts to drift to Sabe. She would have been so pleased to see Genevieve's daughter alive and well loved. Gwen to him was a mix of his wife and daughter. She resembled Sabe and held her wisdom, but her humility and charm came from her mother.

He was pleased that their partnership was going so well. Both keeps had increased their profits and production for the crown. He was quickly pulled from his thoughts when a bright blue light appeared suddenly before him, causing his horse to rear. His quick reflexes allowed him to regain control of the animal and he then looked over to where the light originated. He was astonished to see a woman land on the ground a few feet in front of him. He pulled on his reins, stopping his mount before it trampled her.

Dismounting from his horse, he approached the woman. She was dressed in simple clothing, tendrils of her dark brown hair slipping from beneath her hair covering. She was older, and still quite lovely, he noted. Seeing that she was unconscious, he picked her up and set her on his horse. He was closer to Valcolor, he realized, as he turned and headed back there. Stopping in front of the house, he pulled the woman into his arms and jumped from the horse. The slight twinge in his knees he felt upon landing briefly reminded him he wasn't as young as he used to be. He strode into the house with the woman calling for help. Gwen appeared first.

"Grandfather! Where did you find her?"

"I found her on the road."

"Let's get her on the sofa." Gwen said. After setting her down, she gasped.

"Lara!" she called. The young woman ran into the room, unused to hearing the shrill tone in her lady's voice.

"Yes, my lady?"

"Have someone send a message to Lord Gwaine and tell him that he's needed here. It's very important," Gwen stressed. The maid rushed off and Gwen turned towards the woman.

"Do you know her?" Matthias asked. Gwen nodded, saying, "This is Hunith, Merlin's mother. The question is what is she doing here? Ealdor is a village in Escetia, the kingdom nearest to Camelot."

Gwaine and Edwin burst in the room, his eyes widening with shock at the sight of the woman on the sofa.

"How did she get here?"

"A blue light appeared on the road in front of me and she just tumbled out," Matthias said.

"Someone used magic to get her here," Gwen said, "But whom?"

"I have an idea," Gwaine said. "I think its Merlin." Husband and wife gazed at each other as the truth began to dawn on them.

"You know, Gwaine, that makes sense, "Gwen said. "Think about it, every time Camelot had a magical threat, he and Gaius always had a solution." The small group then looked at the woman who was starting to awaken.

Hunith opened her eyes and didn't know what to do. Merlin told her to tell Gwaine they were coming soon. She didn't expect to see Gwen with him, the two of them wearing matching bands on their fingers signifying their union. Her shock grew when a little boy ran into the room and threw his arms around Gwen.

"Mama," he said, reaching his arms towards her. Gwen picked him up and the little boy looked at her.

"Who's this?" he asked, his innocent eyes looking at her.

"This is a friend, darling."

Hunith sat up and looked at them.

"Merlin was born with magic, and he sent me here to tell you Gwaine, that he, King Arthur and a few others will be here soon. Camelot has fallen to Morgana and there is something here in Dacia that can overthrow her."

_Escetia_

They had been running for an entire day.

Merlin looked over at the king, whose blue eyes were empty as he numbly ran beside him. Mithian was slightly behind them, her face sweating from exertion.

Merlin felt like a failure.

He tried so hard to anticipate Morgana's next move, never imagining that their attack would come so quickly or leave such devastation. The once glorious kingdom was in a fiery shambles, the army obliterated, save for the king's knights.

The sheer numbers alone were too much to fight. It was difficult, but Arthur finally conceded that they must retreat.

The small group ran to Merlin's old home in the small village in the kingdom Escetia. Unfortunately, they were followed by Agravaine. When he saw one of his men attacking his mother, he just reacted. Extending his hand towards her, he said, "Tell Gwaine we will be along soon! Remember what I told you!"

The entire room stopped fighting in shock at the young man's actions. Using it as an advantage, Merlin defeated the remaining soldiers before turning to Arthur, Mithian, and his knights, all who held equal looks of shock on their faces.

"Merlin has magic." Percival spoke first.

The sorcerer met the large knight's eyes and was relieved to see that they held no scorn. Merlin's eyes met the other knights, and while each pair of eyes held shock, there was no hatred in their depths. Mithian's eyes held no hatred either. Finally he turned to Arthur.

The anger and hurt within his friends eyes caused him take a step backwards.

_Valcolor_

Everyone's eyes widened at her words. Gwaine looked at Gwen, who had gone completely still while holding Nate. Walking over to her, he wrapped an arm around her for support and together they faced Hunith. His hazel eyes blazed into the older woman's.

"Please explain," His fierce words sent a chill through her. Taking a breath to steady her nerves, Hunith began, "My son Merlin was born with magic. He's been able to move things around with it since he was a babe. As he grew, his ability grew, but the people in our village began to look at him strangely. So I wrote to Gaius, years ago asking him to watch over my son and teach Merlin what he needed to know. He agreed, and Merlin has been in Camelot since."

"So all this time, he's had magic and has said nothing?" Gwen asked.

"You know sorcery is illegal in Camelot. To be accused of it can cost you of your life," Hunith said. Gwen nodded at her words, thinking of all of the times she herself had nearly died from the same accusation. Merlin had always helped her whenever she was in serious trouble.

"I'm more hurt that he said nothing at all. Didn't he know I would never betray him?" Gwen asked. Gwaine nodded at her words, and then said. "Besides Gwen, I consider Merlin my best friend. There is nothing I wouldn't do for him. Merlin having magic doesn't change anything. We just wish he trusted us enough to tell us and protect his secret."

"What's happened in Camelot that has sent you here?" Matthias asked. He couldn't shake the niggling feeling that something was about to happen, and he wanted to be as ready as possible.

_Camelot_

It seemed like an eternity that the two men stared at one another. Finally Merlin spoke.

"There have been so many times I wanted to tell you, but the timing never seemed right."

"How long have you practiced sorcery?" There was a distinct coolness in Arthur's voice that made him shiver.

"I was born this way. I couldn't change having magic any more than you could change your height or the color of your hair. I know you have questions, but we have to leave this place now, before your sister takes all of our lives."

"Why Merlin, should I trust you with anything?" Arthur's voice was now tinged with anger.

"If you'd had any idea the things I have done to keep you alive…" Merlin began. He stopped when he felt a tingle along his spine. Morgana was near.

"Morgana's close and we've got to move. Arthur, there is something in Dacia that can help reclaim your throne. Gwaine is there now and I'm sure he will help us."

"How-" Arthur's eyes widened. "Oh."

Merlin met the eyes of the other men, asking a silent question. Each man nodded slightly, their expressions still dazed.

Feeling her power come closer, Merlin just reacted. He spoke several words and a bright light surrounded them.

_Valcolor_

"There is something here that can help the king reclaim power," Hunith said.

"I wonder what it could be," Matthias said thoughtfully.

Before she could reply, a bright blue light appeared, and several people tumbled through, landing in a heap near the fireplace. Clearly disoriented, the men and woman disentangled themselves and stood slowly, in utter shock that they were somewhere completely different within the blink of an eye.

"What the hell was that Merlin?" Arthur's condescending voice filled the room.

A/N: Whew! That was a monster to write! Thanks again for reading, reviewing, alerting, and adding! My schedule has lightened some, so now I can write more . Hope everyone has a fantastic week!


	10. Chapter 10

X

Everyone stared at the group of people who came from nowhere. Slowly they stood, taking in their surroundings. Arthur's heart stopped when his eyes met large brown ones he was certain he'd never see again. Unconsciously he took a step towards her, frowning slightly when Gwaine placed her behind him, placing her out of his view once again. He decided to deal with that later. There were other problems that needed handling, like figuring out where they were.

"Where are we?" Arthur asked.

The room was completely silent; its occupants still in shock at what occurred. There was an older gentleman; Arthur noticed whose cool gray eyes observed the situation. Their eyes met, and the man walked over, his gait strong and full of purpose. He held out his hand, and Arthur shook it.

"You are in the kingdom of Dacia, and this is Valcolor, Lord Gwaine and Lady Guinevere's home. I am Matthias, Guinevere's grandfather. "

Arthur heard no more after the mention of her name.

She was here. How did she end up here?

As the older man's words penetrated his consciousness, Arthur's eyes widened.

She wasn't alone. This man was her grandfather? And how did she end up married to Gwaine?

Numbly he shook Matthias' hand until he realized belatedly he'd been shaking it too long. Letting go of his hand, Arthur spoke.

"I am Arthur Pendragon of Camelot and this is my wife Mithian, and our knights Leon, Percival, and Elyan. Gaius and Merlin are also with us. Gaius is a physician and Merlin was my manservant until recently." Turning from Matthias to the Lord of Valcolor, Arthur missed the hardening within the older man's eyes upon hearing the young man's introduction.

"Gwaine! It's been a long time." Arthur said, his words causing the other man's head to turn slightly in his direction.

Gwaine looked at his wife with concern.

When they all tumbled into their living room, Gwaine placed her and Nate behind him. Amidst the chaos, he didn't miss the intense look in Arthur's eyes as he looked at Gwen.

Camelot's king had better tread carefully.

While Matthias introduced himself, Gwaine turned to check on her. Nate's head rested on her shoulder and she held him tightly. Her eyes met his, and they were filled with shock and disbelief.

"You alright?" he whispered as his fingers smoothed her brow.

"I've been better," she whispered back dryly. "At least we had a little warning from Hunith."

He looked at her, relieved that none of the hurt that she experienced from people less than ten feet away from her didn't show in her eyes. Instead they were quite clear and steady as the initial shock faded. Her eyes met his; she nodded slightly and squeezed his arm as he heard Arthur call his name.

"Fancy meeting you all here," Gwaine said his tone nonchalant, as if people tumbled into their living room through magic on a daily basis. "As Matthias said, I am Lord Gwaine of Valcolor and this", he continued as he gently brought Gwen next to him," is my lovely wife, Guinevere, and our son Nathaniel."

The room was completely silent for a moment as everyone stared at the married couple.

Arthur was still dumbfounded. Gwaine and Guinevere were married and had a child? His sister's parting words flashed in his mind, and Arthur was full of regret.

Elyan was relieved to see his sister was alive and well. He was ashamed of his actions towards her surrounding her banishment. He met his sister's eyes, and his lowered in shame at the coolness he saw there. He knew he deserved every bit of her anger.

Percival and Leon looked mildly surprised, but the fact that Arthur's manservant had such powerful magic was a bigger shock. They were happy to see their former comrade look content and settled.

Gaius was also ashamed of his actions. He had his suspicions concerning Gwen's actions that night so many years ago, but no proof, so he remained silent.

Merlin could care less about Arthur firing him. Neither was he afraid for his life. He knew that it was not his destiny to die at Arthur's hand. The smallest of smiles graced his lips upon seeing his two best friends together. He'd taken note of how protective Gwaine was over Gwen, and how she squeezed his arm in support before he greeted them. His eyes slid over to Arthur, who hadn't taken his eyes off Gwen. He then looked over at Mithian, whose gaze followed her husband's after hearing a name uttered aloud that had been whispered in Camelot for so long.

Gwen was the first to act, turning and handing her son to Lara, her maid, saying "Could you please take Nate and get him settled for his afternoon nap? Thank you so much."

"Yes, my lady," Lara replied with a nod. Once she saw Nate settled, she turned and walked over to Camelot's queen. Gracefully she curtsied before her.

"Your Majesty, it is our pleasure that you are in our home. It seems as if it's been quite a morning. Please join me for a bit of refreshment in the library. It's quiet and the view of the forest is quite soothing. Hunith, please join us as well." Gwen then turned to leave the room, and Mithian and Hunith followed her.

Gwaine watched his wife handle things with a graceful poise that made him extremely proud. Turning to the men left in the room, he told himself he would follow her example as best as he could. He shook his head a little, knowing that he was likely to yell if anyone, especially Arthur or Elyan, said anything stupid concerning his wife.

"Hunith told us that Morgana's attacked Camelot and that there is something here in Dacia that you need," Gwaine said, thinking to himself that they needed to figure out how to solve the problem and get these people back home as quickly as possible.

It was Merlin who answered.

"Morgana attacked and she has the Crystal of Shear."

"What's that?" Matthias asked.

"It's a crystal that holds powerful magic. With it Morgana's power increases tenfold. It makes that much harder for the throne to be reclaimed without even considering Helios' army."

Gwaine and Matthias nodded thoughtfully as Arthur glared at Merlin.

Arthur was for starters, angry and hurt. Both emotions warred within him.

Merlin lied to him for years! All this time he had magic! And Guinevere was here and married to Gwaine!

Whatever possessed her to do something like that? This was Gwaine, after all, a rouge, albeit a charming one, who was extremely good with a sword. Gwaine, the mead loving, womanizing knight of Camelot was married to Guinevere? It was beyond puzzling to him.

Was their marriage one of love or just convenience? He noticed how close the two were.

She was even more beautiful than he remembered. His brows rose and his eyes widened as he realized that she and his wife were together talking only a few rooms away.

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_So this is Guinevere,_ Mithian thought to herself as she found herself looking at the beautiful woman with more than a little curiosity.

Who was she to Arthur? Try as she might, Mithian found she could not dislike the Lady of Valcolor. Her manner was gentle and Mithian could tell that Guinevere was a genuinely kind person.

"More tea, Your Majesty?" Guinevere asked.

"No thank you, and please, call me Mithian. It seems odd to use a title when I have nothing to support it," she said.

"MIthian, I know that those men in the other room will do everything they can to help Camelot's king reclaim power, and that includes my husband and I." There was a bit of steel to her words that caused the queen to look at her and wonder exactly just what manner of woman the Lady of Valcolor was.  
>"Who are you, Guinevere?" Mithian found that she could not help asking the question.<p>

"I am no one of importance," she replied.

"Arthur doesn't think so." Mithian replied. Taking note of Gwen's quizzical expression, she continued saying, "He speaks of you quite often and with great fondness." She said aloud, while thinking to herself, _he has at least stopped murmuring her name when he comes to me._

"That's quite a surprise, since Arthur banished me from Camelot himself." Gwen's voice cooled slightly.

"How did that happen?" The words tumbled out before Mithian could stop them.

"That's something that you'll have to discuss with your husband," Gwen replied. She didn't know what Mithian or Arthur knew about Morgana's scheme concerning her and Lancelot, and she wasn't discussing such a painful time in her life with a stranger.

"I see," Mithian replied.

Hunith was silent during the entire exchange. Gwen then turned to her.

"What happened in Escetia Hunith? You have no idea how surprised I was when Grandfather carried you in."

"It was quite a shock to be in my home one moment and in a completely unfamiliar land the next," Hunith replied. She then continued, "Merlin, Arthur and his men came to the village to hide and regroup, but Morgana and her men caught us. I was being attacked when Merlin just raised his hand towards me. The next thing I knew, I was here with you. My son said that whatever we needed to defeat Morgana is here in Dacia."

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This was a mess, Merlin thought to himself. He had no idea Gwaine and Gwen had been together this entire time. Knowing both of them well, he had to admit that they were well suited for one another and balanced each other out. They also were a striking couple. He was astonished to see they had a child together, one with his hazel eyes and her dark curls. The child appeared to be well over two years, but-

Wait, Gwen and Gwaine had been gone a bit longer than that, which meant-

_Oh no!_

Arthur banished her while she was pregnant?

He may not have known she was at the time, but he didn't even think about the possibility before casting her out?

He felt sick at the thought. He felt even sicker when he realized that Nathaniel could be Arthur's.

Arthur had become much like his father after she was gone, becoming even colder once he realized how many people betrayed him. It had been disconcerting to watch Igraine's light slowly ebb from him over the past few years. He was also obsessed with Guinevere. He never said it aloud, but he was appalled at the way he had his wife dress and even smell like Gwen.

Arthur was more like Uther than he realized.

He shrugged. He decided that he wouldn't allow Arthur to make him feel any worse than he did already about hiding his ability. He was too angry at him for sending Gwen and his son out with no protection. Merlin also decided he would say nothing about his thoughts concerning the boy's parentage. Arthur could still be quite oblivious to things that didn't directly concern him.

Arthur watched with detachment as the other men talked and began to form plans. His mind was elsewhere. Guinevere was a lady, and she was Gwaine's wife.

She was a lady, a lady of high rank and noble heritage at that. He wanted to laugh aloud at the irony.

Why didn't he make her an official lady of the court once he knighted her brother?

To be completely honest, he wanted her to continue serving him. It was a way for him to have easier access to her without all of the chaperones that ladies of the court required. Besides, he was going to make her a Queen, which was the highest station any woman could ever attain. She was the last person he'd expected to see. He thought of her often, the decision of her banishment plaguing him constantly. He wondered if she was well, if she was safe, was she…married? He would cringe at the thought of her wed, but seeing her like this made him realize the great gift he'd lost.

He didn't even lose it. He tossed it aside.

She was so beautiful, he thought. He could still picture her in the simple green gown, its extravagance revealed by the fine cut of material. The color made her skin appear golden. Her hair was up, tendrils caressing her neck the way his fingers used to. He'd wanted to run his fingers over the smooth skin of her neck and collarbone before Gwaine set her near him, his fingers smoothing over her brow and face, the intimate touch a sign Arthur recognized that the knight claimed her for himself.

She was no longer his. His heart clenched at the thought.

A/N: Thanks for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

XI

Once everyone was together again in the main living room, Gwaine and Matthias opened their homes to the King and his small group. It was decided that Merlin, Hunith, Leon and Percival would remain at Valcolor. Arthur, Mithian, Elyan, and Gaius went with Matthias to Carmelide. Gwaine had loaned them a few horses so that they could make the short trek to Matthias' home.

It didn't take them long to reach Carmelide. Tiredly they dismounted and Matthias showed them to their rooms after a brief tour. Arthur and Elyan were especially surprised to see a life sized portrait of Guinevere in the main hall. Matthias simply explained that Gwen was the very image of his wife, now dead for the past six years.

After showing Arthur and his wife their room, Arthur pulled off his clothing and collapsed on the bed. Too tired to sleep, his mind was plagued with all of the things that occurred that day. He felt the mattress shift as his wife settled next to him. Inwardly he sighed, knowing his wife was about to ask questions he didn't want to answer.

"What happened between you and Guinevere, Arthur?" Her query was the very last question he wanted to hear- or answer.

The young king propped himself on an elbow to look down at her stonily. Mithian, undeterred, turned to meet his gaze.

"There is history between you two." It wasn't a question.

"Yes there is. What did she say to you?" He asked, dreading her answer.

"She said to talk to you. Why did you banish her?" Mithian had several ideas, but she wanted to hear the truth from her husband.

"Guinevere was banished for adultery."

"Who did she commit adultery against?"

"Me." Mithian nodded slightly, she guessed as much, but she wanted to hear it from him.

"Explain," was all she said.

"Guinevere was Morgana's maid. Her father was a blacksmith, accused of sorcery by my father and killed for treason. Her mother died long ago. I've known her most of my life, but I didn't notice her until I stayed at her home during a tournament. She called me out on my rude behavior, and I knew that she was special. Time passed and we saw we loved one another, but I knew my father wouldn't approve, so we kept our love a secret. He died and after a time, I proposed. The eve of our wedding I found her in an intimate embrace with Lancelot, one of my best knights and her first love. The council wanted her killed, but I couldn't do that so I banished her." Arthur sat up abruptly and rested his head against his knees, hearing Morgana's taunting voice yet again, this time joined by another one.

_Take her_. Arthur shook his head in attempt to clear it and pressed his fingers to his temples.

"Why did you marry me?"

"To move on. I just wanted to move past the hurt, and Mithian you're a great person. I just-"

"Is that why you asked me to wear the purple and the lavender? Those things remind you of her, don't they?" Mithian jumped up and stood in front of him, causing Arthur to look up at her, wincing slightly as pain lanced through his skull.

"Is that why when you reached for me after we were together that first time, it was her name you whispered? Bastard!" Mithian yelled as her hand connected with his face. She sank to the ground then with a sob, covering her face with her hands.

"I knew you-you loved her and I le-let you touch me and pretend it was her! I-I care for you and I-" Mithian's sobs became louder as her body shook. Arthur, full of shame at his actions, touched her shoulder gently. Mithian smacked his hand away.

"Don't TOUCH me!" Her head rose, and her red rimmed eyes met his.

"I won't let you do this to me anymore." She whispered before burying her face in her hands.

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"This has been quite the day," she said as she looked down at him.

"Wife, this day has been quite insane," her husband replied as he looked up at her, her slight weight atop him as they finally made it to bed.

A small chuckle escaped her as Gwen shifted her hand, moving it so she could feel his heartbeat beneath her palm. She rested her chin atop it as she looked at him, watching his brow rise as he inclined his head slightly and regarded her nightwear.

"You look far better in my shirts than I do," he said, one of his hands trailed up the back of her thigh, his fingers savoring her soft skin.

"I've found that I like wearing them a great deal," Gwen replied. "They are quite comfortable."

Gwaine smiled at her before turning his thoughts to more serious matters. Before he could speak, his wife spoke first.

"Everyone is settled in quite nicely. Are we going to meet in a few days?" Gwaine nodded.

"That's the plan. I think its best that everyone gets their bearings before questing for what Arthur needs. How are you?" He asked.

He'd wanted to ask her for a while. He saw the way Camelot's king looked at his wife earlier. He didn't like it. A small part of him wondered if seeing Arthur changed anything for her. He didn't know how to ask that. Besides, he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear the answer. He knew Gwen loved him, but-

Did she love him enough?

"Seeing Arthur was hard today, Gwaine. It brought back a lot of painful memories. He made so many promises and broke all of them. It's not the easiest thing for me to face him, even though it's been a few years since we left. His wife asked me what happened, why was I banished. I told her to talk to him. There is no way I was speaking to her about my banishment and what happened afterwards. "She tapped a finger against his chest.

"Do you know what I love about you, Gwaine? It's that you've been through a lot of hard things and you still can smile and move yourself forward. You faced your past and didn't let its hurts keep you from avoiding the pain of returning here. I also love how you see Nate as your son. It means your heart is large and compassionate. I love that you see _me_ Gwaine. You see me and all my faults and still love me." Resting her weight on her other hand and leaning forward, she touched her lips to his before resting her chin atop the hand on his chest again.

"I love you for the man you are Gwaine. And for the man you are becoming as well. Nothing will ever change that."

He looked at the woman gazing at him with such love and he was in awe of just how amazing she was.

"Gwen I- I couldn't have done this without you. Reclaim my home, or raise a family. Your support has helped me to face things I never wanted to be a part of again. You challenge me and the fire within you…it always amazes me how you carry on with such grace. I love the woman you are, Gwen, and it's a privilege to watch you grow into the woman you were always meant to be." His thumb wiped away a tear that had fallen at his words. He kissed her then, his heart and mind finding peace in her presence.

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The sound of wood hitting wood in the early morning caused Mithian's ears to perk up and her eyes to wander in the direction the sound originated. She slowly followed the sounds until she found herself behind a tree. Peering around it, she began watching the scene unfold before her.

Valcolor's lord and lady were sparring. The two moved with fluid precision and grace, and Mithian couldn't take her eyes off the pair.

Guinevere was fighting fiercely, on the attack and Gwaine was encouraging her.

"That's good Gwen! Now remember what I taught you when an opponent does something like this," Gwaine said as he leaned forward and grabbed her fighting arm, pulling her forward and taking her off balance as he hauled her against him.

Gwen twisted out of his grasp and turning, lifted her foot and planting it against his chest, pushed him backwards.

"Excellent!" Gwaine said. He then grabbed her other arm and pulled her against him again, his arms going around her lifting her slightly, locking her frame against his. A flush went through the woman as she watched them. She could barely make out his words, as they were spoken so lowly, the fire in them impossible to ignore.

"You learn quickly."

"I have the advantage of being taught by one of the best," she heard Gwen reply with an equally heated tone.

"Wife, I know you can break this hold. It's one of the first things I taught you."

"I know _how_ to break your hold, husband. I just don't _choose_ to at this time."

Another flush went through her as she watched a wide grin cross his face as he looked at his wife. He leaned down and nipped her lips before fusing his mouth with hers in a scorching kiss. He released her, and she slid slowly down his body, her hands reaching upwards to twine in his hair, pulling him into her as he pulled her impossibly closer to him.

_Oh my,_ Mithian thought to herself as she looked at them. She knew she should turn away for propriety's sake, but she was unable to take her eyes off them as they embraced.

Their kiss lasted a moment longer before the two broke apart, foreheads touching, breathing heavily. Gwen then shoved him away from her, picking up her stick, and pointing and edge towards him.

"Again," she said the smile in her voice easy to hear.

Gwaine grinned, and the two began sparring again.

Quietly, Mithian backed away and returned to the path she was walking.

Clearly the lord and lady of Valcolor were not in an arranged marriage.

She'd never witnessed such…_passion_ between two people. The cool morning air provided a bit of relief for her flushed skin.

She thought of her relationship with Arthur and frowned.

It was such a mistake for them to marry. He clearly still desired a woman who now loved another.

She meant what she said to him a few nights ago. She would no longer let him treat her however he pleased. She cared for him a great deal, and put up with a lot of his mistreatment out of the hope that he would see that she loved him and love her in return.

She loved him. Beneath the hard shell he erected was a man who loved his people and wanted good things for them. She could tell he had the capacity to do great things.

That's why she wore the purple and used lavender in her hair and on her skin. Yet somehow in her pursuit of trying to gain Arthur's love, she'd forgotten to love herself.

What happened to the Mithian of Nemeth who carried herself with grace and dignity and laughed easily?

It was time for Mithian to love and respect herself again. Camelot's queen nodded to herself, not entirely sure of what she had to do, but knowing something needed to be done.

It was time for changes to be made.

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Merlin, Matthias, Gwaine, the Knights of Camelot, Arthur, Mithian, Guinevere and Hunith were all in Matthias sitting room at Carmelide.

It was time to figure out what to do.

By now, everyone knew about Merlin's abilities. The day following after their tumble into Dacia, Merlin met with everyone and told his story. He told everyone about his abilities as a Dragonlord, and the highlights of what he'd done over the years to keep Camelot safe.

He and Arthur still weren't speaking directly to one another.

While it was true that Arthur was facing a lot of obstacles, with the exception of Morgana, the majority of his problems he brought upon himself.

No one told him to banish Gwen.

No one told him to marry Mithian and then play dress up with her.

No one told him to just believe any and every thing Agravaine spoke.

Arthur made a mistake to marry a woman when he clearly wasn't ready to. To be fair, Merlin felt guilt at keeping his magic a secret for so long.

But it wasn't as if he didn't try. Telling his secret about having magic just never seemed to work out before Morgana and Helios came.

He also understood that it couldn't be easy for him to see Gwen with another, Gwaine no less and be happy. And they were happy together. While they had only been in Dacia a little while, he noticed that his friends truly loved one another.

He looked at all of the faces in the room, feeling the burden upon him to restore destiny yet again.


	12. Chapter 12

XII

He couldn't stop watching her.

Guinevere and Gwaine came to Carmelide in order to help Merlin find the Sun crystal, a great stone that would conquer the dark power Morgana was using the Crystal of Sehar for. He knew he should be thinking about his kingdom and strategies, but all he could focus on was how lovely Gwen looked in her cream and teal gown. But she'd look ravishing in anything to him. He felt eyes on him and turned slightly. Gwaine's eyes were upon him and the king was taken aback by the hard stare in the man's eyes.

_Back off_, was the message Guinevere's husband's eyes conveyed. Heeding it, Arthur looked away, his eyes looking over the people in the room before meeting Mithian's. Her eyes met his for a moment and then glanced elsewhere, but not before Arthur saw the mix of hurt and anger within her brown depths.

"The Great Dragon said that it was here," Merlin explained, causing Arthur to focus on the conversation at hand. But the words his former manservant caused the familiar burn of anger, betrayal, and hurt to churn within the king.

That was another thing. He thought he killed that monster. Nope, it was still alive, and the young king's confidence had diminished with the fact that all of the feats he thought he'd accomplished on his own were actually the result of Merlin's magic. Was there any feat he successfully completed entirely within his own might and strength? It was a major blow to his ego to learn that the very thing he'd been raised to despise saved his life time and again.

Her love was the only thing he'd earned with his own might and stupidly, he let her go.

Now he had to watch her with _him_. Jealously spiked in his blood as he watched them together on the couch, their hands resting against one another's as conversation swirled around them. It still didn't stop him from wanting her, and wishing he could trade places with Gwaine.

_Make her yours again._ The unbidden thought came, and Arthur frowned.

He was hurt and angry when he banished her. It warred constantly with the love he had for her. He married Mithian in an attempt to move forward and forget about her. A twinge of guilt surged in him at the thought of his wife. Mithian was beautiful and smart. She was good to him. She was a wonderful queen. He knew he treated her horribly. He looked at her then, sitting by the window, lovely in a light blue gown.

How could he make things right? He didn't even know where to start.

If only he'd made different choices.

If only.

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"What happened, Merlin?"

He and Gwaine were in the study with Matthias and Gaius. Gwen was with Hunith and Nate at Valcolor, and Arthur had gone for a ride to clear his head.

"Agravaine was a traitor from the start. Gaius and I figured it out, but Arthur refused to see the truth. I have to give him credit, his moves were subtle. He used the right words to play on the king's insecurities."

Gwaine nodded, thinking to himself that this was the reason why Arthur had briefly broken things off with Gwen before they engaged. It also explained many of the inconsistencies he found with the older man. He turned back into the discussion around him.

"He had been working with Morgana the entire time. I was shocked when Mithian wanted to help us. She overheard Morgana and Agravaine in the woods one day. We knew about the crystal and we were trying to keep her from finding it, but we failed."Matthias asked, "How did they take over?"

"She's aligned herself with Helios, a warrior with many soldiers. They somehow got access to the tunnels beneath the castle, and they came in the night. We escaped to Ealdor, but they followed us."

"Hmmm." Matthias said. Turning to Gaius he said, I have some old documents that may be able to help you in your search in my library. Come with me." Gaius and Matthias then left the room, closing the door behind them.

Merlin and Gwaine looked at each other for a moment before Merlin spoke.

"How did you and Gwen end up here _together_?"

Gwaine said nothing for a moment. Looking at Merlin shrewdly, he saw that there was no malice within his words, merely curiosity.

"I found her on the road, and she's been with me ever since," Gwaine replied, his tone casual.

"Your son is beautiful," Merlin said.

"We found him on the way here, thin and starving. He and Gwen took to each other…they were what the other needed." Merlin's brows rose at his words.

"I thought that…"

"I could see why you'd think that. Nathaniel is nearly the age that a child between Gwen and Arthur would have been."

"So she wasn't…."

"She was, but she lost him. It devastated her. She wasn't herself for a long time."

Gwaine frowned, his mind remembering that night and the time that followed while Merlin's eyes looked sad.

"I'm sorry she had to endure that." The sorcerer was genuinely sorry for what happened to one he considered one of his best friends. "How is she now?"

"It's in the past now, Merlin, and I think it's best that it remains there." Gwaine's voice was firm. "She's worked too hard to move beyond the hurt and loss to live again."

Merlin nodded. "For what it's worth, Gwaine, I'm glad that you two have each other." Gwaine nodded, knowing he was gifted with someone wonderful by having Gwen in his life.

"Were you ever going to tell me about your magic? It hurt to figure it out just before you tumbled into my living room. Merlin, you know you could have told me."

"I thought it best to keep it a secret. It's still illegal to practice there."

"I can see your king is upset by the way he found out, young man," Matthias spoke as he quietly reentered the study. He had to admit he liked Merlin and his mother, in spite of the company they kept.

"He won't speak to me. He sees me as another who betrayed him. We just need to get the crystal and then make sure Arthur and his knights get back to Camelot," Merlin said.

"You aren't going back with him?" Gwaine asked. Merlin's tired eyes met his.

"I don't know." The young warlock frowned as he thought about how Arthur was now. The other side of the coin had changed for the worse.

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It was hard to watch her with another. He remembered his sister's words on that awful night before he fled the castle.

_I can't believe you let her go so easily…I enchanted her, and used her to play on your insecurities. You did what I thought you'd do. Your anger and pride took over and you banished her._

He heard nothing after Morgana confessed to enchanting Gwen.

For nothing…He'd banished her for nothing. She was innocent in all of this.

He closed his eyes, and the memory of her warmth and love washed over him.

He was a fool, throwing the one good thing in his life away. Now she was with another and they had a child together. His heart clenched at the thought that she should be with him, and they should have a child that age with another on the way.

Wait a minute…

His mind easily remembered the night he shared with her. It was a memory he thought of often.

NO!

He cast her and his son out of his protection and care.

Irrational anger rose in him as he realized that she kept his son from him.

_She should have told me_, he thought to himself, forgetting the fact that he was the reason why he didn't know in the first place.

Rising from the ground, he quickly got on his horse rode to Valcolor. He had to find her. He strode into the house and through the hallway angrily, stopping when he heard her laughter.

She was sitting with Hunith and her son in the sitting area. Both women looked up at him with surprise when he burst into the room.

"Guinevere, I need to speak with you." His words held the order of a command, while anger tinged his voice.

She gazed at him wordlessly. This was the last thing she wanted to deal with, Arthur rashly jumping to the wrong conclusion. She saw the way he looked at Nate. Calmly standing and picking her son up off the floor, she handed him to Hunith, saying, "Could you please take him up to Lara? It's time for him to rest." Nodding, the older woman took him and scurried from the room, eager to get away from the obviously angry king. As soon as she was gone, he grabbed her arm, turning her to face him.

"Is he mine?" His eyes blazed into hers and the thought that had been niggling in the back of his mind blazed to the forefront.

_Make her yours again._

"No, he is not," she replied tersely. His hands gripped her tighter.

"Don't lie to me about this," he said his voice low as he looked at her with narrowed eyes. "I have a right to know about my son!" She yanked herself from his grasp, and glared up at him.

"Nathaniel is no more yours that I am." Her voice belied none of the fear she felt from the menacing way he was looking at her. Uther's hard face flashed before her eyes, and she took a step back.

He recoiled from her words. She used his silence to convey her point.

"Arthur I saw you kiss your wife on your wedding day. It was the day I realized I was carrying your child."

Arthur's eyes widened.

"I lost…I lost the baby. I nearly died between not having enough to eat and running back to tell you Morgana enchanted me-"

"I know about the bracelet and Guin-" She cut him off.

" I was too late, and after seeing you with her I left for good. Gwaine found me on the road and we traveled here together. I found Nate before we reached Dacia. Gwaine, Nate, and time healed me."

"You love him then." It was a hard statement to let slip from his lips.

"Yes." She took another step back.

"Before we left…Morgana told me what she did to you…I know you were enchanted."

"All this time we've wasted…I've dreamt of you so much…" Arthur's voice trailed off as thedriving thought of having her again pumped in his blood.

This all consuming driving need was wrong…he couldn't have her without her consent, he thought to himself even as he continued to move.

Stepping forward, he pulled her to him and pushed her against the wall behind them. His eyes looked a bit wild, and for the first time, she was more than a bit afraid of this man who had become a stranger to her.

"Arthur let go!" She struggled against his hold, and he gripped her tighter, causing her to wince a little at his force.

"Do you love him more than I? Truly?"

"Yes! Now LET GO OF-"

"I've loved you this entire time! Guinevere I still l-"

"ARTHUR LET GO!" His hold tightened and he pulled her to him. Panic rose in her as she saw his head lean forward. She turned her head to the side away from him and closed her eyes. His forehead rested against the wall next to her. He inhaled deeply, his nose filling with her scent that he'd been without for so long. His lips then found her ear.

"Look at me." His rough voice contained a plea she could assuage no longer.

She shook her head as she took a shuddering breath.

"Leave me be." Her whisper barely reached his ears as he savored her nearness and scent, the irrational need for her causing his head to drop against her shoulder and whisper into her skin.

"All this time…I've carried you in my heart…and I…you…" Gwen shifted as she struggled in a vain attempt to get out of his hold. Slowly his head rose and his eyes met hers.

"Arthur, you banished me from the only home I've ever known, a home you promised me after my father's death that I'd never lose. My heart shattered when I lost the baby. Arthur it doesn't matter what Morgana did. What hurt was the most was that you so easily believed that I would willingly be with another man after lying with you the night you proposed. I'd never… no man ever touched me before you Arthur."

"Guinevere…I'm sorry…for so many things."

"Arthur, I'm happy here. I've moved on and it's time you did the same."

His heart broke at her words.

_She's yours. Make her yours again._ The voice in his mind increased in power, causing Arthur to wince from the pain that seared in his skull as he looked at her.

Guinevere….only she could take this pain away and give him what he needed. Unconsciously he gripped her tighter, not even realizing her squirming efforts to break free.

She struggled against his hold, wondering why she couldn't break it. She knew the technique to break it; she'd practiced with her husband many times. It seemed as if his grip were iron. His blue eyes met hers, and she recoiled at the flash of gold within them.

"Arthur…Arthur please! Let go!" Her voice trembled at the darkness she saw in the man she once loved.

He couldn't fight the voices anymore. She was too near. He couldn't stop himself. Shaking his head vehemently, he hauled her against him as his mouth desperately covered hers.

A/N: I'm sorry this took so long to post! Between a way hectic schedule and good old fashioned writer's block, it's taken me a minute to post this. I hope you enjoy it and I thank everyone who's stuck with me and read, reviewed and favorited! You guys rock!


	13. Chapter 13

XIII

_Camelot_

Emerald eyes watched the crystal with satisfaction as her largest obstacle to keeping the throne finally succumbed to madness.

It was almost too easy.

The spell was simple, an incantation from the Old Religion. It caused someone to focus on the thing they wanted most. Every thought would drive them to pursue that thing. Once they had it, the person fell into insanity. The more they consumed what they desired most, the more the desire consumed them, twisting their minds until they became someone no one recognized.

Morgana watched as her brother began pulling at the clothes of her former maid. Dispassionately, she watched her former friend struggle for freedom. The lack of remorse she felt caused her to pause for a moment, before remembering that those people were now her biggest enemies. She felt her magic pulse as Arthur's mind slipped away.

_Valcolor_

There was a time when Guinevere wanted to escape Arthur's advances because she knew she'd give into to her desire for him.

Never did she think she'd want to escape him because she'd find his advances repulsive. He wouldn't let her go, and it seemed as if the grip he had on her was unyielding.

His mouth bruised hers as she struggled against him. His teeth scraped the side of her lip as he kissed her harder, using his larger frame to push her back into the wall. His larger hands began trailing over her neck and shoulders. Panic seized her as he dropped his face into her neck and pressed his body against hers. Realizing her arms were finally free, she began beating her fists against his shoulders, her struggles to escape renewed.

Something snapped in Arthur once her body was against his. Roaring filled his ears as his eyes glazed over, her presence consuming him totally.

_Yes!_

His eyes flashed golden as one hand closed over her bodice, his large hand ripping the delicate material, freeing the restrained skin from its confines.

Her eyes opened in shock as she felt air on the previously covered skin. This could NOT be happening to her! Gwen frantically tried to calm herself. _There must be something I can do_, she thought. Taking a deep breath, her fingers searched for the area between his neck and shoulder. Finding it, she twisted the muscle hard as she lifted her foot, allowing the heel of her shoe to jam in his thigh. He drew back in surprise as he grunted in pain.

Arthur blinked, the haze lifting as his eyes flashed once again. Gwen saw her chance and stepped over towards the fireplace, her hand blindly searching for a weapon and finding a poker. She raised the sharper end towards him, the silent warning causing him to step back.

He looked at her disheveled hair and torn dress dumbly. _What had happened?_

"Get away from me!" she screeched as she took another step back.

"Wha-Gwen what happened to you?" he asked, utterly confused. "Why is your dress torn?"

"You tore it when you…you-" She couldn't utter the words.

"I would never…hurt you Gwen. What are you talking about?" _What happened?_ Arthur found he couldn't remember anything after asking to talk to Guinevere.

"All you've done is hurt me! I just never imagined…" Gwen's voice trailed off as she continued to back away from him. He continued to stare at her, his eyes filling with horror as her words sunk into his brain.

He'd done that to her?

He'd never put his hands on her like that!

Yet there she stood, fire poker in hand, her hair coming undone and her dress torn, with a completely terrified look on her face.

He reached for her, needing her to understand that he didn't mean to do that. She shook her head and fled from the room, quickly running into a solid mass of flesh. She flinched as arms wound around her. Gwaine looked down at her, his brows rising as he took in her torn dress and fallen hair. He felt anger rise within him even as he pulled her against him in a comforting embrace.

"Gwen it's me." She recognized his voice and sagged against him.

"Gwaine!" Her emotions were still running high from what happened moments ago, and his name spilled from her lips in a broken sob. Dropping the poker, her hands gripped his vest as she buried her face in his chest, breathing in his scent in an attempt to calm herself.

"What's this? He looked at her carefully, frowning when he saw bruises beginning to form on her soft skin. The frown deepened when he saw her shaking hands trying to put her dress back together. He looked at her then, questions in his eyes.

"Arthur asked me about Nate-"

He saw red as roaring filled his ears. He took a deep breath.

"He did _this_?" She heard the anger in his tone, though his voice was quite even.

She nodded as her body trembled, still in shock from what happed moments before. Reluctantly letting her go, Gwaine shrugged out of his vest and placed it over her shoulders, covering her. He then grasped her hands, running his thumbs over them in an attempt to stop her shaking.

"Did he do anything else?" The question was unnecessary. He'd seen her torn dress and the small cut on her lip. Looking down at her arms, he saw more bruises forming. He asked in vain hopes she'd say something that would keep him from jumping to this horrible conclusion.

She looked at him with glimmering eyes. A tear slipped down her face as she recalled his rough behavior. She never imagined that he would act that way. Stepping closer, his hand captured her jaw. She looked up at him then, and the vulnerability in her eyes caused him to gently kiss her cut lip, his own lips tasting the salt and moisture that collected there. Seeing Matthias and Merlin in the hall, he said, "Take her to Lara for me please, and make sure she freshens up." He then strode into the sitting room.

Matthias took her upstairs while Merlin followed him. Hearing a crash, Merlin turned and headed into the room instead. Gwaine had Arthur pinned against the wall, his forearm against his throat. Arthur's eye was already sporting a bruise. His arms pushed against Gwaine, but his hold made it impossible for the king to move.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you where you stand." Gwaine's words, while spoken quietly, were filled with anger. "What makes you think you have the right to put your hands on my wife in such a manner?"

Arthur heard the words and knew Gwaine was right, but the irrational anger rose within him again, preventing any apology or explanation from arising. His eyes flashed golden while he glared at Gwaine. The lord of Valcolor blinked in surprise, but he didn't loosen his hold.

"She and her son are mine!" Arthur said angrily."I don't care what lies you've told yourself Gwaine, they belong to me!" Gwaine shook his head and stepped closer to him, his anger rolling off him in waves.

"Gwen lost your child._ I_ held her as the tiny life left her body. It nearly killed her, you know, to see you marry another and lose the last ties she had to you." As he remembered her suffering, his grip tightened reflexively, causing Arthur to choke. Gwaine's anger rose and his eyes narrowed as he pushed Arthur into the wall.

"She had nightmares for months, you know," he said, the coolness in his tone revealing how angry he was. "It was a long time before she stopped blaming herself for everything, in spite of knowing Morgana was behind the whole scheme. He shifted, tightening his grip, causing a slight bluish tinge to appear around the king's lips.

"She wanted to die after losing you, watching you marry, and losing the child. That nearly destroyed her, and I'll do everything I can to keep that from happening again." Giving him one last rough shake, Gwaine released him.

Turning to his friend he spoke, "Get him out of here, Merlin," Gwaine said, shoving Arthur towards him before leaving the room. Quickly he climbed the stairs to check on her.

Merlin looked at Arthur. Shaking his head, he opened his mouth to speak.

_She's yours. Take her. Take her. She's yours._

Merlin's eyes widened as he heard the malovent voice. He looked again at the king, whose eyes flashed golden as he lunged after Gwaine.

Merlin raised his hand and Arthur dropped to the ground, unconscious.

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She felt dirty. She despised the way he held her and looked at her.

The man downstairs was not the Arthur she loved. Time and circumstances changed him into someone she didn't recognize.

"Are you alright, child?" Hunith asked. Numbly she nodded as she looked at her arms, his large handprints quite visible. Her grandfather held her, and she cried as Merlin's mother stroked her arms gently.

The door opened softly, and her husband entered. She felt Matthias hand her to him.

"Please give us a moment," Gwaine began, but then Matthias spoke.

"I'm taking Hunith home with me. We will check on you tomorrow." Gwaine nodded.

"Thanks." The door shut behind them, and Gwaine looked at her, his eyes asking what his lips couldn't say just then. He had to strain to hear her words.

"He grabbed me, and then pushed me against the wall, asking if I loved you more than him," her voice was hollow. "I told him yes and he pushed me into the wall with his body. His mouth, his hands were on me and I couldn't move for a moment. I felt him against me, and I kicked him, and slapped him. I ran into you and…" Tears burst from her, and he held her to him, her small body shaking with sobs.

"For a moment, I saw Uther in him." She whispered against his chest.

"Gwaine I never thought that Arthur would…" her voice trailed off as an old memory of Arthur shaking her in the throne room flashed before her.

Perhaps Arthur was more like Uther than any of them realized.

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Merlin could see the black mists swirling around Arthur's mind, telling him to take her. He didn't know how he could see such a dark magic manifest. What he did know is that he was witnessing powerful dark magic at work. He recognized the spell, one designed to drive someone into madness after having the thing they desired most.

Wait, how did he know that?

Your powers are growing, Emrys. Kilgarrah's voice floated around in his mind.

Matthias and his mother stopped before them.

"What the hell is this?" the older man asked, looking at the prone king lying face down in Valcolor's main hallway.

"He's been enchanted somehow, that was the cause of what happened earlier," Merlin explained, hoping that Gwen's grandfather would still allow him to stay there.

Gray eyes met blue as the two men gazed at one another for what seemed like an eternity. Finally the older man gave him a terse nod, and holding Hunith's elbow walked past them to his horse.

Merlin raised his hand, and Arthur lifted off the ground. He began walking, floating Arthur behind him until they were outside. He then hoisted Arthur over his horse, while Matthias and Hunith waited silently. Slowly they headed back to Carmelide.

A/N: As always, thanks for reading and reviewing! Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend.


	14. Chapter 14

XIV

It was early when Gwaine woke. Shifting slightly, he looked at his wife curled next to him, finally sleeping soundly. She was restless, tossing and turning several times during the night, plagued with nightmares of the attack from the day before. Absently, his hand began drawing circles over her back. As his eyes slid over her arms, his anger flared anew as he noticed the handprints were far more visible, marring her skin.

Squeezing Arthur's neck was not enough to assuage his anger. He took a deep breath to control his emotions. Gwen was intuitive to his moods, even in her sleep, and he didn't want her to wake that way, worried about his upset state.

He never expected for his old friend to do the things she described. Gwaine knew Gwen held back a little when she told him what happened.

What happened in Camelot to make Arthur this hard and angry? Looking at the woman he now held, he knew the answer.

Whether Arthur wanted to admit it or not, losing Guinevere twisted his heart. He was too proud to admit it, and he listened to the wrong people. Now he was a king without a kingdom, desperately searching for something that no one had seen for centuries to help him reclaim what he'd lost.

He felt her stir, and he looked down to see brown eyes gazing upon him. She reached for him and kissed him softly.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as he carefully looked over her. There were slight circles beneath her eyes, and she still looked quite tired. Carefully, he reached over to pull her closer to him.

"I feel…Gwaine I don't know how to feel. Yesterday seems like a bad dream."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there-"

"You had no idea that would happen. Never would I have thought that he…" Gwen sat up abruptly, causing Gwaine to look at her quizzically.

"What is it?"

"His eyes…they kept flashing gold. And when I broke free, he looked confused, as if he didn't know what happened." Gwaine looked at his wife with raised brows as her words triggered a memory.

" I…subdued him after Matthias took you upstairs and I noticed that his eyes kept flashing gold. Do you think he was under an enchantment?"

"I don't know, but perhaps we can find out." Gwen shifted and began to rise. Gwaine stopped her.

"You need to rest." Gwen opened her mouth, but his palm cradled her face, stopping her.

"I will go to your Grandfather's to check on things, but you've had a hard day and night." Leaning over, he kissed her forehead.

"Promise me you'll get some rest".

Gwen nodded and lay back down. Gwaine went to dress.

"I won't be gone long."

Gwen lay in the now silent room, her thoughts filled with the events from yesterday.

While she was certain Arthur was under some sort of enchantment, the truth provided her little comfort.

Once again, she'd experienced hurt from his hands.

Gwen turned on her side, and the events from yesterday flashed before her. Her breathing became ragged as tears slipped from her eyes. Gwaine returned to the room, stopping abruptly when he saw the shaking of his wife's small body. He was by her side in seconds. Sitting next to her on the bed, he gently pulled her into his arms, relieved when he felt the tension leave her body as she wept.

As her sobs subsided, she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer to her. She leaned her ear against his heart, the familiar sound bringing her comfort.

"He hurt me," Her voice was just above a whisper.

Her simple words were filled with pain. Shifting, she sat upwards so that her face met his. His eyes meeting hers, Gwaine saw pain, but also resolve.

She wasn't broken this time. Her next words proved his thought.

"Give me a moment and I'll join you."

"You don't have to go."

"I know, but I _need_ to go."

0000000000000000

Everything he touched perished.

From the mother who died bringing him into the world, to the kingdom now ruled by his sadistic sister, all things touched by his poisonous hands never thrived.

What was wrong with him?

Was he that unlovable? His father was not a demonstrative man, and was very critical, causing him to seek his affection through his works. Sadly, he rarely received it, no matter how hard he tried.

Often he wondered if he was worthy of affection. Then he met Guinevere. Her love for him…when he thought of it, it always humbled him that she just loved Arthur, the man behind the crown. Her affection, freely given, went a long way in making him feel loved. The hidden insecurities, however, always manifested whenever he saw her around Lancelot.

The knight was a good man, and she didn't have to wait to marry him.

On days when he'd see them talking, he'd always pull her a little closer to him, or kiss her deeply, affirming to himself that she was his. He was confident that she only saw the man as a friend.

His confidence shattered that night. Seeing them embrace, Arthur forgot that he'd known her intimately, that he was the first man to ever see her bare skin, and that she was not a woman to share her favors so freely. His doubts rose to the surface, and he listened to the wrong advice.

He banished her, thinking he'd done her a kindness by not killing her.

Who was he kidding? He could never kill her. He was just so full of hurt that he couldn't look at her face without seeing her in his arms. He was also filled with anger.

How could she have done that to him? Now he had the answer and he was sick at what he'd done. He missed her as soon as she left him that morning under his order. Pushing the hurt aside, he married Mithian. He thought that he could marry for the kingdom, the way he was raised to before her. What he didn't realize was that Guinevere changed his life completely, and he couldn't go back to the man he used to be. There were days when he wished he could go back, mainly because he just wanted the hurt to go away.

Arthur Pendragon was a man full of regrets. Images of his poor choices flashed in his mind, over and again. He groaned and grabbed his head, wishing for the pain to go away.

Merlin watched as Arthur thrashed upon the bed, writhing in pain, his eyelids fluttering as glimpses of gold flashed in the midst of his blue orbs.

What happened?

Who enchanted him?

He shook his head and buried it in his hands for a moment. Think Merlin, the young man thought to himself. There's got to be a way to fix this. Slowly he opened his eyes and looked at the man, Camelot's king on the bed. He recoiled at the black mist that had nearly enveloped the king.

I don't have much time, Merlin thought.

A sharp rap on the door caused him to turn around.

Gaius entered the room, and Merlin was relieved to see the older man.

"What happened Merlin?"

"Arthur's been enchanted, Gaius and I see this blackness surrounding him," Merlin said. The older man peered at the king.

"I see nothing Merlin. This must be a gift that is only for you," Gaius said. "Your powers are growing."

Merlin nodded absently, his attention once again focused on Arthur. He felt his magic rise within him, and instinctively, he knew what to do.

He had to delve into Arthur's mind.

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and extended his hands, placing them on the sides of Arthur's head.

000000000000

Gwaine and Gwen entered Carmelide and found Matthias, Hunith, and Gaius in the study. Matthias rose and embraced Gwen gently.

"How are you?" Matthias asked.

"I'm alright, Grandfather," Gwen said as she hugged him back. His warm hug reached down into her heart, adding to the sense of comfort her husband had given her. After their embrace, Gwen faced the room.

"I believe Arthur is enchanted somehow. When I saw him yesterday, his eyes kept flashing gold."

"You're right, he is." Gaius said. "Merlin is with him now."

"Do you know what happened?" Gwen asked.

"Not yet, but Merlin is putting the pieces together," Gaius said. "I am so sorry for what has happened Gwen," The old man's eyes seemed slightly hazy, and Gwen realized that her old mentor was apologizing for more than yesterday's events. Reaching out, she embraced the old physician.

"We came to see if we could help you in your quest," Gwaine said. "I'm sure it would ease Merlin's mind greatly if we could narrow down where the Sun crystal could be." 

As the men began to talk, Gwen's eyes met Hunith's, and the compassion within them stirred something inside the young woman. Gwen began walking towards her when she felt a gentle touch on her arm. Turning, she met her husband's concerned gaze.

"I won't be but a moment," she said softly. "I'll be alright." Gwaine nodded slightly. Pitching her voice louder, Gwen addressed the room.

"I need a bit of air. Hunith I would truly appreciate it if you joined me."

000000000000

The darkness was nearly overwhelming.

_How has Arthur been living like this?_ Merlin wondered as he adjusted to his surroundings, which were Arthur's memories.

Merlin had no idea how he got into his friend's mind. He just did. In many ways, he wished he hadn't.

He could see everything- the insecurities, the fears, and the sadness.

_Focus Merlin_, the warlock thought to himself. _Find the source of what's hurting the king_.

A sliver of black swirled before him. Merlin wanted to follow it, yet something caused him to hesitate. He watched in shock as the blackness attached itself to a memory, causing the image before Merlin to change.

It was a memory he'd witnessed himself. Arthur was confronting his Gwen over the night before their wedding in the throne room. Instead of Arthur pulling back from shaking Gwen, Merlin watched in shock as Arthur's hands circled her throat, causing Gwen to struggle vainly to free herself. The darker image caused Merlin to recoil in shock. He then began looking at other memories, and they were all twisted versions of Arthur and Gwen's relationship. It was all he saw. He woke immediately and jumped up, eyes wide as he looked at Arthur.

"Are you all right, Merlin?' He jumped at the sound and turned around, meeting Gaius' concerned gaze.

Merlin was quiet for a moment, trying to find the words to describe what he'd witnessed.

How do you explain that your friend's memories were being massacred by black mists that no one saw but him? Haltingly, Merlin began to explain, while leaving out the intimate details of Arthur's mind. Gaius listened attentively, his old mind still razor sharp.

"There are only a few spells that can alter memoires." Come Merlin, we don't have much time."

000000000

Hunith and Gwen were outside walking around the grounds when the older woman turned and clasped Guinevere's hands. Gwen looked at her in surprise while the older took a deep breath and began to speak.

"When I was a young woman, I was collecting some plants in the forest near my home when I was attacked by a bandit."

Gwen met her eyes in shock, but said nothing, waiting for her to continue.

"I was pushed to the ground and I fought but it wasn't enough. He struck me and I passed out. The last thing I remember was him lifting my dress while he untied his trousers." Absently, Hunith touched her jaw. "I awoke at home in my bed, with my mother, father, and the man who would become Merlin's father surrounding me. I later found out Balinor saved me from being violated by that man."

"Balinor was quiet and wise. A kind, gentle man. For a long time the only men I could stand being around were him and my father. For a long time, sudden sounds and unexpected movements would startle me. Balinor was always so patient. We came to love one another, but Uther's men pursued him, and he had to leave. I was in no condition to travel quickly, as I was carrying Merlin." The woman paused then, her eyes faraway as she remembered events rarely spoken from years past.

"I was so afraid," Gwen said suddenly. Hunith remained quiet as she gently squeezed her hands in support.

"I loved Arthur and even though…I just never thought…I know he was enchanted somehow, but it doesn't make what happened yesterday any less frightening. It took me a long time to get over everything that happened when I left, and I don't want to go back to that place of feeling so sad, so…bleak." Gwen sighed as one tear slid from her eye.

Reaching up, Hunith wiped the tear away before giving the young woman a hug. Gwen sank into her embrace, wishing for a mother she'd lost years ago. Hunith gently ran her hands over Gwen's hair. Leaning forward, she spoke softly into Gwen's ear.

"This time is not like the last, child. You're surrounded by people who love you. Don't shut them out. Especially your husband. It may be hard for you to be touched by him. Be honest and give yourself time. Gwaine loves you so much."

Gwen stayed in her embrace a moment longer before releasing Hunith. Their wet eyes met, and Gwen said, "Thank you Hunith." Linking elbows, the two women continued walking silently, each hoping for things to work out for everyone somehow.

A/N: I just wanted to take the time to apologize for taking so long to update. I've had a lot of things go on in my life some good, some not so great and it took me away from writing. I will finish this story. Thank you for reading, alerting, and adding this as a fave. Truly it humbles me.


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